3-31: No One Does It Better

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"What are you still doing out here? Aren't you ready to go home?"

Variance sat down next to Apollo on the edge of the empty arena's stage. He glanced up at her, pulling a beer out of the cooler next to him and handing it to her. They were both silent as she opened it, leaning her head against her cousin's shoulder.

"I'm just taking it in."

He paused, drinking the beer even though it had long grown warm.

"It was unreal. This entire thing. And tonight... I've never seen a crowd like that."

Variance swung her feet in the air like she was a kid again, smiling at him as she lifted her head.

"It was definitely something else. You guys are amazing, and it's sad that this tour is over. But there will be others."

She brought her camera out from beside her, snapping a picture of the emptiness in front of them. She leaned back against Apollo, holding the camera out and taking a picture of the two of them. The flash popped in Apollo's eyes and he grimaced, pushing her shoulder playfully.

"You know I hate that. Now I can't see what I was trying to revel in, so thanks."

She laughed, the sound echoing as she put her camera safely in her lap, pulling the beer bottle to her lips. When the bottle was half gone, she looked at Apollo until he met her eyes, speaking softly.

"I have a question for you, Apollo."

"Well, that sounds serious. What's up?"

Variance was quiet for longer than Apollo wanted her to be, her eyes drifting away from his and back onto the ground that was littered with the evidence of thousands of people.

"You're not mad at me, right? Or Hale?"

Apollo let out the breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding, dropping the empty beer bottle Variance had finished back into the cooler.

"Nah. I'm not. I'm glad you two are happy. He's better than some asshole I don't know. He's my best friend. He'll take care of you."

"He will, yeah."

She turned to face him, pulling her legs up and her knees against her chest. She wrapped her arms around them, her brown eyes serious.

"It's your turn now, you know that, right?"

Apollo nodded, running his fingers over the red toy car in his pocket. He felt like a child, carrying it around. But he couldn't seem to help it.

"It is. And I'm gonna do it right this time. I'm not going to leave her again.

At least, not like that. Not like she's afraid of."

He pulled the car out of his pocket, pushing it on the surface of the stage toward Variance. She picked it up, holding it in the lights coming from overhead.

"I remember this car. You wouldn't let me touch it when I was little. You were a total asshole.

I remember being pissed at you because you let Harpia have it."

She let out a laugh as he took it from her grip.

"You have a hell of a memory."

She watched him touch the tiny tires of the car with bright eyes.

"And you have a hell of a soft spot for memories."

He shoved the car back into his pocket.

"Sometimes that's all you have left.

I kept leaving, and she did too. And then she wrote me this letter, and it was like everything made sense. Everything everyone had always been saying seemed to finally be true.

The stories I wrote to give to these crowds, I found her in most of them.

I don't know how someone can write their soul for everyone to see, and not realize that that's what they're doing. But I was."

Variance looked at him curiously.

"You sound so in love with her, Apollo. I've never heard that tone in your voice. Or seen that look in your eyes. Besides when you sing that song you won't sing on stage."

Apollo laughed, his fingers finding and tugging on the ends of his hair.

"Yeah. Turns out that song is about her too."

She smiled.

"I know. We all knew. I'm glad you finally do too.

Are you going to sing it now?"

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, something spilling into his chest.

"It's a little too late for that now. The tour's over."

Variance shook her head, her smile widening into a grin.

"It's never too late. You think you would have learned that by now, all things considered."

Apollo's face grew incredulous and he gestured around him.

"Actually, stage is broken down, arena is empty, no one is here. Pretty sure all of those things add up to the definition of 'too late'."

Variance pulled her camera in front of her, switching the setting to video. She directed it at him, staring into the screen.

"Blake!"

Apollo felt the slight edge of panic in his chest as she called Blake's name, shaking his head vehemently.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Blake poked his head out from the side of the curtain that separated the stage from the back, his face clearly annoyed.

"I was about to ask that... Why are you yelling at me?"

Variance pointed at Apollo, and then at the guitar cases piled by the door that hadn't been taken to the crew bus.

"You know how to play acoustically right?

Apollo has something he needs to do."

Blake raised an eyebrow at Apollo, walking through the curtain.

"What, exactly, does he have to do?"

"He's gonna play the song, on this stage, like he's never done. And I'm gonna record it, and post it online for the world to see."

Blake's eyes traveled to Apollo.

"You sure about this, man?"

Apollo took another beer out, shaking his head.

"No. But she is. So I guess I'm doing it."

Blake hesitated for a second before sighing and walking to grab the only somewhat acoustic-y guitar any of them had brought.

"Alright. If we're doing this, you better make it count. I busted my ass for this song. It's about time people hear you actually sing it."

He hopped off of the side of the stage to stand next to Apollo, counting to three. The moment the number left his lips, he began to play.


And Apollo sang.

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"It doesn't count."

"It was on a stage, it completely counts."

"There wasn't even an audience."

"And what am I? Invisible?"

Hale looked at Apollo and laughed, losing the argument with Variance rather than have her beat him into the ground with persistence.

"So how was it?"

"It felt like relief, actually."

Hale was about to say something else, but Apollo held up a finger to cut him off, reaching into his pocket and taking out his vibrating cell phone.

"Hold on a second, I don't know this number."

He took the steps out of the bus, pulling the phone to his ear the second he hit pavement. A familiar voice came out of the other end before he could even speak.

"Apollo, this is Casey."

"What's u-"

"Harpia crashed her car."

Apollo's mouth went dry. The sound of Casey's voice was throwing Apollo for a loop. He paused for just a second, trying to gauge the emotion he was hearing from the other end.

"Is she-"

"No. She's not okay."

Apollo glanced up at the bus. Hale was leaning out of the door of it, confusion in his eyes. Apollo shook his head, just once, trying to keep the heavy feeling that was deepening in his chest out of his words.

"We were just about to head back to the house here in Hollywood. I'll-"

"You're not understanding me. She's dead. I tried to stop her. I tried to come get her. I tried to save her, but I couldn't. And now she's fucking dead, Apollo.

When the paramedics got to the scene, her heart had already stopped."

Apollo froze mid-pace, his eyes locked on the metal of the tour bus, but not seeing it.

Memories took over his vision. Memories that everyone says you see when you're about to die, the ones of your life flashing by. Only, it wasn't his life. Just his life with her.

In the back of the tour bus with moonlight on her skin and 'I'll see you tomorrow' promised as she left.

In Hollywood, cleaning up glass from a broken alcohol bottle, with 'I love you' spilling out of her lips. And 'why can't you say you love me too'.

On the Fourth of July, with fireworks shining in the green of her eyes.

Sixteen, leaving hand in hand with the first boy she'd looked at that wasn't him.

Twelve, with her lips pressed against his because she wanted to know what it felt like, and he 'should be the first'. 

Eight years old, pushing a red toy car along the curve of Apollo's knee.

He barely registered the glass of the phone crushing in his grip.

He dropped the shattered device to the ground and walked back into the bus, ignoring Hale's questions. He leaned over to the driver and only said one word.

"Airport."

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If I just save you, you could save me too
If I just save you, then you could save me too