2-17: Entitled

I'm an amnesiac, forgot what it's like, to be happy.
Some kind of maniac, follow you around when I know you don't want me.


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"Your voice sounds seriously off... Are you sure that you're okay?"

Rain drifted back into the conversation with her best friend, not even noticing really that she'd zoned out of it.

"I'm okay, Nash. I promise."

Her promise was empty, almost like the tone that her voice had taken on. Nash's voice paused on the other end, but quickly filled the silence with words again. As she usually did.

"I'm just starting to get kind of worried about you. You don't respond to texts and when you do call me, you never sound like yourself lately.

...You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Rain sighed, her eyes frozen on the wall across from her.

"I know that I can, Nash. But I swear, everything's fine. I'm just stressed out from school. If something was going on, I'd tell you."

She dropped her eyes from the wall to the ground, guilt settling in her chest. She didn't even know when she'd started lying to anyone, but it was becoming more and more common. At least in the last couple of weeks. She felt as if she was always hiding something. And she somewhat was. 

Thorne hadn't even spoken to her since that night in his study, besides to check on where she'd been. But they didn't even feel like concerned questions. More like interrogations.

"Okay, Rain. Well I have to get to class. I'll call you again tomorrow, okay.

And I promise I'll be there on Wednesday."

Rain was taken aback by her words for a moment, until she realized what Wednesday was. Her 19th birthday.

"You're coming in?"

Nash's voice grew excited, raising in pitch.

"Of course I am! I wouldn't miss your birthday for anything."

Rain wasn't even sure Thorne would allow that. And she wasn't sure why he should have to allow anything.

"Alright Nash, I'll see you then."

The excitement she tried to force into her voice seemed totally transparent, but Nash seemed to buy it. She said an overly happy goodbye, and Rain glanced up at the wall again, waiting for the line to close.

She'd finally heard back from her sister too when Thorne had returned her phone. Thaddeous was okay, and their parents had sent him to a rehab facility somewhere in Colorado for an extended amount of time. She wouldn't get a chance to see him for months.

And Storm was pissed at her. Maybe unreasonably, but Rain couldn't decide. She'd had to give her a reason, and the only one she seemed to be able to come up with was school being too much.

Because it wasn't anywhere near possible to tell her the truth.

Rain looked down at her cell phone on her bedside table. At the picture of her and her husband that took up the background of her lock screen. It was weird that someone she thought she at least could trust was turning out so differently.

But, somehow, she still held onto that hope that he would be okay, that they would.

She had to hold onto something.

Nash coming in for her birthday would be something different, though. But at least this time, it would only be her. She wouldn't have to worry about anyone else.

She wouldn't have to worry about a fight.

Thorne's footsteps echoed up the stairs and Rain's heart picked up significantly in her chest. But not like it used to. He opened the door softly and made his way over to her, brushing her hair out of her face.

She wanted to punch herself for somehow still craving that touch.

"Who was that?"

Rain swallowed past the lump in her throat, answering on cue.

"Nash."

Thorne raised an eyebrow, leaning down and pressing his lips to her forehead.

"I see. Birthday plans, I'm guessing?"

Rain looked up at him in surprise. She didn't even know he remembered.

"Yeah, actually. She's flying in. In two days."

"She's welcome to stay here, as you know."

Rain smiled at him, and wanted to punch herself for that too.

"Thank you, Hawthorne."

His smile was small, but evident as he walked away. 

But something in the back of her mind told her that she shouldn't have to thank him for that. That she should be able to have whoever she wanted here.

But that's not how this worked.

She just wished she could pin down exactly what she was supposed to do to fix whatever it was that made this go to hell in the first place.

Because it had to be something she did. Something she said.

Everything was on her shoulders. Always.

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Rain looked up from the water in front of her, blowing a cloud of mist out of her lips. She'd never smoked a cigarette in her life, but right now she almost wanted one. It always seemed to calm Nash and Storm down. But she was too afraid of ruining her dancing career with lung problems that she had never tried.

"Miss Campbell, your phone is ringing. Would you like for me to retrieve it for you?"

Her gaze drifted to Lewis and she shook her head, smiling at him.

She didn't care who it was, right now was her alone time. And it couldn't be Thorne because he was in a meeting. Otherwise she couldn't even be out here at all.

Lewis nodded in response, folding his hands in front of him and turning back to face behind them. Rain had to give him credit for being good at his job. He did keep her safe. 

Safe from everything that he should. 

But no one kept her safe from what was really hurting her. 

The husband she felt like she barely knew.

The glint of headlights on the water from a distance brought Rain to full attention, and she got to her feet, looking around. No one even knew about this spot. She came here to be by herself for a reason.

The car that pulled up next to the one Lewis drove was unmarked, but almost matched it.

Which made her heart drop into her stomach.

The driver left the car running, exiting and walking to the back door, opening it.

Thorne's eyes when they met hers, told her exactly how he felt. If there was one thing she could always see in his eyes, it was the coldness. The one that had settled between them and seemed to be suffocating his heart.

Her father's eyes hid emotions too. They always had. But it was different than Thorne's. Much different.

He said something to the driver that Rain couldn't hear and he got back in the car, pulling off down the road as Thorne approached her. 

"You can wait in the car, Lewis."

He didn't even look at him as he gave the command, but Lewis obeyed. His eyes shifted to Rain when he opened the door, and they looked as anxious as Rain felt. The gaze they shared told Rain that he knew this couldn't end well. It never did.

"I called you."

Rain stiffened, the dread in her chest increasing ten fold.

"Oh.... I didn't know it was you. I thought you were in a meeting."

Thorne shook his head, once. His eyes were iced over, much like his grip on her arm when he touched her.

"You know you are not to ignore me."

Rain shook her head quickly, tears quickly spilling down her cheeks from the pain as he pulled her toward the car.

"Hawthorne, I didn't. I wouldn't. I didn't know it was you, I'm sorry."

He reached up to her face, and she flinched. He hesitated for a second, his fingers not making contact. He looked almost offended that she had reacted the way she just had. The tears continued to fall, and his hesitation disappeared. He wiped the water off of her cheeks with more force than necessary.

"Stop crying, Rain. It makes you look pathetic."

She pulled a breath in, trying to do as he instructed, but control was failing her. He leaned closer to her, his lips by her ear.

"If you don't stop fucking crying, I will give you a reason to cry. Do you understand?"

Rain tried for a moment to pull her arm out of his grip, but he only tightened it, which pushed more tears down her cheeks. 

"I can't. You're hurting me. This hurts."

She choked on the words, dropping her eyes from his face. Looking at his face hurt more than his hands ever could. She stared straight ahead, at his chest as he responded.

"No."

He dropped his hand from her arm, and in that instant of relief, Rain was almost convinced it was done. That he would thaw and be Thorne again. The one she knew. 

But that's not what happened. His hand found her ribs and he squeezed, pushing her against the car behind her, hard. Her breath left her chest, and she swore she could hear a snap that preceded the pain that rocketed through her abdomen.

"No. Now, I'm hurting you."

His words were soft, lilting with a foreign sense of comfort. She drew in breath sharply, pressing her face against his jacket, trying to find words, trying to catch her breath. Trying to say anything at all. But she couldn't say a single thing before her vision went black.

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Rain looked down at the blue dress she was wearing, turning once in the mirror. It covered the bruises on her ribs, but not the ones that were still fading on the top of her arms. They weren't even from Thorne pushing her or anything. They were just from the way he seemed to handle her completely now.

Just a little too rough.

Just a little too much force that she knew it was wrong.

Lewis had tried to talk to her about what happened, but she blew him off. Told him she had tripped and fallen against the side of the car, and that that was what knocked her out.

She lied. She was always lying.

And Lewis' eyes when she had told him that, said he didn't believe her.

She ran her fingers over the lace on her shoulders, the blue reflecting the shades in her eyes she'd gotten from her father.

Thorne had an obsession with her in blue. It was all he bought her, and something in her stomach turned at the thought. She froze in the mirror, staring in her own eyes.

It only took one moment of hesitation, one moment of realizing that she didn't want to have to make him happy on her birthday. Her fingers fell from her shoulders to the hem of her dress and she pulled it up over her head and dropped it on the floor behind her. She knelt to the bottom drawer of her dresser, where she kept the clothes she had brought from California.

It took a few minutes, because of the amount of clothes stuffed in the drawer, but she found it. A black dress Nash had given her on her seventeenth birthday. One she'd never worn. She held it up to her slight form in the mirror, a small smile covering her lips.

Thorne hated it when she wore black. Which made this dress perfect.

She slipped it over her head, turning in the mirror again. A sense of comfort that she couldn't put a label on settled in her chest and she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She nodded at her reflection and turned for the bedroom door, leaving it standing open behind her. Thorne hated that too.

But she wasn't convinced he didn't hate her anymore. And it was wearing her thin.

"Rain! You look beautiful!"

Nash rushed over to her when she reached the bottom step of the staircase, her face glowing. She wrapped her in a tight hug that made Rain almost cry from the pain that shot from her ribs.

She forced a smile onto her face at her best friend when she pulled away.

"Thank you, Nash. You bought this, I thought it was the perfect time to wear it."

Nash grinned at her, grabbing her hand and spinning her around to look at it.

"Well it looks amazing on you. As I always knew it would."

She hugged her again, but this time Rain braced for the pain that emulated from her probably broken or cracked rib cage. She sent a small smile Thorne's way over Nash's shoulder, but he didn't return it. His eyes were full of disapproval, but Rain didn't care.

This was her day. And as long as Nash was here, he couldn't ruin it for her.

"Alright, well. Let's get to this fancy birthday party Money Bags has prepared for you."

She grabbed some glass of something off of the bar, heading for the front door. Rain knew a car would be waiting to take them away. Take them to some place full of rich people she didn't really know. People who didn't know her.

Or, if they did, it was as Hawthorne Campbell's wife.

She made to follow Nash, but Thorne's grip on her arm stopped her. The door shut behind Nash and she looked up at Thorne, feeling helpless in seconds.

He bent towards her, lips at her ear.

"Foolish, Rain. Very foolish."

He released her arm and she stared at him. She didn't know exactly what it was that was foolish, but she knew it wasn't anything good. 

And she knew she'd find out later.

"That's exactly what I am, right? A fool?"

Rain was surprised by the words that came out of her own mouth, taking a step back from Thorne's tall form.

"For so many things."

She bit her lip to prevent the tears from falling, rushing over to the door. She took the steps down to the car, sliding in next to Nash. She gave her best friend a smile, reaching over and taking a drink out of the glass she was still holding. It was bitter and disgusting, but she drained the entire thing before Thorne slid into the car with them.

She looked at him once, handing the glass back to Nash. The surprise on her best friend's face was nothing compared to the surprise Rain felt at her own thoughts.

Because Thorne was right.

She was foolish. But not for the reasons he was thinking.

She was foolish for ever thinking he loved her at all.

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Shame on you, but shame on me too.