2-15: Silence Looks Good On You

(A/N: TW: spousal abuse
For a few chapters, actually. This is my warning ahead of time. If you didn't see this coming, I apologize. And if you have any history of this kind of abuse, these would be good chapters to skip.
At the bottom of this post, I'm going to link to a website with resources you can check out if you need any kind of help. 
And if you're where she is, get out. While you still can. Tell someone, anyone.
Just don't stay.
If they say they won't do it again, it's a lie.
Abuse is a cycle.
I love all of you more than I could ever express.)

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The flight to London seemed to take twice the time it took Rain to get to California. When she'd gotten back to her mother's house that night, questions had been raised. Thorne didn't seem to believe anything she tried to tell him. 

Even though he said that he did, his eyes said something else.

And he barely spoke to her on the entire flight back two days later. They were supposed to be back on the 26th to do things with his family the way they had hers.

She was missing her dad's birthday to make it work out for both sides of the marriage, and he was barely speaking to her.

The moment the door shut behind them in their house, Thorne turned to face her. He slid his hand down her arm and taking her hand the way he always did.

That lulling sense of security settled into Rain's veins and she smiled up at him. But once again, he didn't return it.

"I have a question for you, Rain."

His grip tightened on her hand and she winced, but it wasn't an unusual occurrence. Sometimes he was a little rough, but only with his touches when he was upset. She'd grown used to it.

"What is it, Thorne?"

He reached to his pocket, holding her cell phone out to her. She'd forgotten all about losing it in California. Mostly because she hadn't expected to need it. She had thought it was in her suitcase.

She glanced down at it, puzzled at what her cell phone had to do with anything at all.

"Thank you. I had no idea what happened to this."

He dropped his grip from her hand finally and she flexed it, trying to get the slight pain to recede. 



"I'm sure that you didn't."

He walked into their living room and she followed close behind, setting her phone down on the table in the entryway.

"I'm sorry, did you try to get in contact with me? I didn't mean to misplace it, but I must have when I was packing."

He walked over to the bar that sat between their kitchen and living room, pouring some kind of amber liquid into a class. He was mostly silent, which made anxiety settle in her chest.

"I did."

He took a drink of the liquid and set the glass on the counter top, looking up at her.

"I called it when you were gone for so long on Christmas eve. I followed the ringing upstairs to your bedroom, and it was there. On your bed. So you didn't misplace it packing."

She nodded, just once. But she knew that he had something more to say here by the way he was talking. She'd heard these stories that led into her disappointing him before. 

But mostly he just met her with silence in response when he was finished. So it was best to let him.

He walked from around the bar and over to her, towering over her like he usually did.

"But I noticed something weird."

He reached toward her, sliding his fingers through her hair, pulling lightly on the end when he got to it.

"You did?"

Her voice was soft, and she almost seemed to freeze in response to how he was behaving. 

"I did. Rain... Can you tell me why Ryan would be texting you about hoping that you'd change your mind before he sees you again?"

Oh... No.

"I... I don't know."

It happened so fast, she barely registered it. Her face stung from the force of it, and she brought her hand up to the spot where his had just made contact. Tears fell in seconds and she couldn't seem to speak. She couldn't seem to do anything at all. 

"Don't lie to me."

His said the words gently. Like he hadn't just backhanded her in the face. He turned for the bar and grabbed the glass off of it. He stopped at the entryway table, sliding her phone back into his pocket and heading for the stairs.

"We have to be at their house in an hour. Make sure that you're ready."

Like nothing happened.

Like nothing happened.

----------------

"Rain, you haven't said much. Are you okay?"

Rain looked up at Thorne's mother from across the table, forcing a smile onto her face.

"I'm fine, Elise. Thank you for asking."

Thorne put his hand over hers on the table, but she moved it, folding it with her other one in her lap. She saw him raise an eyebrow out of the corner of her eye, but ignored it. All she could seem to do was stare at the food on her plate. Her appetite had all but disappeared.

She knew what Thorne had just done was wrong, but he acted as if it was normal. Like they were still normal. Kissing her and holding doors open and telling her he loved her.

But, not one apology passed his lips.

"Rain is quiet a lot. I kind of prefer it."

She looked up at him, and then away. Her face showed no sign of what he had done. 

But her heart did.

"So when are you two going to give us some grandchildren?"

Elise's voice was joking, but Rain couldn't help the wide-eyed look she gave in response to her question.

"I'm only 18. I'm not ready for children."

Elise laughed, and it was genuine, but Rain couldn't return it. She just dropped her eyes back to the untouched plate in front of her.

"No one is ready for children. Not really. And I was only kidding. Hawthorne is much too young himself."

Thorne nodded, picking up the glass in front of him, swallowing down more alcohol, like he'd been drinking most of the day.

"Children are cumbersome anyway. I'm not sure I ever want them. They cause more problems than they solve."

Rain spoke to her plate, her voice quiet.

"I want them."

She reached out, pushing the food around with her fork, trying to force herself to eat at least something. But it just wouldn't happen.

"Maybe not anytime soon, but I do someday."

The table grew quiet and Elise looked back and forth between the two of them. After a few moments, she cleared her throat, gesturing to the man that had been attending to them the entire meal. He refilled her wine glass and she raised it out to Rain in some sort of faux toast.

"Looks like you two have a lot to work on together then."

She brought the glass to her lips and Rain couldn't help but stare at her.

From what she knew of his parents, they had never been around much during his childhood. They had six sons and each time one of them was born, it was straight to their nannies. His parents didn't really raise any of their kids.

She knew nothing about children. Except how to have them and then provide monetary means.

Stop it, Rain. You don't even know her.

She shifted her stare onto Thorne and a sigh passed her lips when he leaned over, pressing his own to her temple.

"I love you. I'm sorry, Rain."

He whispered it in her ear, and despite what had happened earlier, her chest fluttered. Her mouth fell open in surprise, but she quickly retrieved her composure. Her whispered response travelling only to him.

"I love you too. It's okay, Hawthorne."

And it wasn't, but she did love him. He made a mistake, right? Mistakes can be redeemed.

It would never happen again. 

It wasn't who he was.

"Alright, if you are all finished, we should gather in the living room. We have gifts to pass out, after all."

Thorne stood at her words, holding his hand out to Rain. She took it, getting to her feet and pushing her chair into the table.

The way he looked at her was nothing like he had earlier. He looked at her like he loved her. That feeling she was always trying to see shown brightly, and she became lost in it.

She felt safe again.

She felt wanted.

And as she had said again and again, she didn't want to lose that.

---------------

Rain sat on top of the bed that she shared with Thorne, looking across into the mirror of her vanity. Her face looked unmarked. Still. There was no evidence that anything had happened. Only in her memory. 

And memories can be manipulated, right? She could pretend it never happened. Maybe she could pretend so well that she forgot it ever had.

Was that the best decision to make? Probably not. But it wouldn't stop her.

No one had to know.

Thorne came into the room, taking his watch off and sitting it on the end table.

"Did you have fun?"

Rain nodded, issuing him a smile. 

"I did. Your parents are lovely. And your brothers are too."

He sat next to her, running his fingers through her hair. They made their way to the side of her face where he had made contact not so gently earlier.

"You're beautiful, Rain."

She blushed at his words, but for some reason, all she could think about was the first time Ryan said it to her. In the car that day. About her eyes. They stung at the memory, but she refused to cry. Refused to have him question why she would.


"Thank you, Thorne."

He placed his hand at the top of her arm as he always did, his grip gentle.

"I love you. No matter what happens. You're mine.

And I love you."

She nodded almost mechanically, because every time he said it, it was in a very settled tone.

"I'm yours."

He leaned forward, his breath on the skin of her neck.

"Forever. Understood?"

Her pulse beat a little harder in her chest at his words and she exhaled, placing her hand on his.

"Understood."

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Silence looks so good on you. Darling don't you think so too?

National Domestic Abuse Hotline