2-7: When She Cries

Every day's the same
She fights to find her way
She hurts, she breaks, she hides, and tries to pray
She wonders why, does anyone ever hear her when she cries?

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Thunder rolled through the sky, and Rain shivered in the cold wind that swept through her bedroom. She hadn’t meant to leave her bedroom window open… Especially not in the middle of winter. Tomorrow was Christmas, and it could possibly snow, and she still left her windows open. Probably not her smartest decision.

She rubbed her eyes, trying to adjust to the dreary sunlight that managed to break through the cloud cover.

She’d never get her parent’s fascination with rain no matter how many times she was told. They named two children after it, and Rain still didn’t understand. Who could possibly be that fascinated with such a dark and sad thing?

To each their own, I guess.

She exited the blankets surrounding her and crossed the room to the windows, pulling them shut. But the moment she did, something caught her eye in the driveway below. A police cruiser was parked neatly behind Storm’s BMW. And she only knew one cop.

Could he possibly be here trying to convince her parents, again?

They’d told him no twice. He couldn’t actually be trying again. Especially when Ryan was already going to help her. Not that she had told her grandpa about that detail. It wasn't that she didn’t trust him, but what if he told her parents about her plan and then it never happened?

What, exactly, was she supposed to do then?

She quickly got dressed and took the stairs down to the floor below, stopping just outside the living room to listen. Her mother’s voice caught her attention first… Mostly because Eden almost never sounded upset about anything. But she sounded upset right now.

“Why do you keep pushing? Don’t you think I want her to be happy, dad? I do. More than anything. But she needs an education. She needs to get a degree and do something productive with her life while she’s young, because what if dancing falls through and she has nothing to fall back on?”

Rain’s stomach tilted and she felt sick. That was something her mother had never actually said to her. And something she could have gone her entire life without hearing.

“Coming from my daughter who didn’t know what she wanted to do with her own life until well into her twenties, I don’t know how you turned out to be so callous about this. If it wasn’t for that man putting a ring on your finger and giving you those three kids, who knows where you would have ended up, Eden.”

There was a pause, and then:

“Don’t give him that look, you know he’s right.”

Her father’s voice wasn’t upset, or angry… He just sounded frustrated. It was quiet for a few more minutes, and then she heard the distinct sound of her dad’s sigh.

“Alright. She can go to the auditions. But if she doesn’t make it in… She’s done with dancing. She’s going to focus on school and go to a normal college, and do something else with her life.

I’ll give her this chance, because I owe her that much… and I remember what it’s like to have a parent who only cares about their own dreams for you.”

Eden’s scoff was so loud, it almost echoed.

“What if it’s a disaster?”

Rain peeked her head around the corner just enough to see the three of them. She watched her dad put his arms around her mother and pull her close.

“So what if it is? Remember letting Thaddeous make his own mistakes?

Maybe it’s time to do the same for our youngest daughter.”

Eden sighed into his embrace, her arms finding their way around him too.

“She’s just so fragile. She sees the world so differently than the other two. She could get hurt.”

Rain bristled slightly at her words, her forehead creasing. She’d heard her parents say those things about her a thousand times in her life, and still didn’t get it. She didn’t understand how she saw the world any differently than her siblings. Maybe she just never would.

“She’ll survive. She’s half you, after all. You are nothing if not a survivor.”

Rain wasn’t even sure what her grandfather’s words even meant… She knew almost nothing of her mom’s past. Besides a few choice things she’d rather not know from rumors at school.

“So our youngest baby girl could be moving to London.”

Xavier laughed quietly, pulling away and looking down at his wife.

“She could. She probably will. As much as I’d like to deny it, she’s amazing at what she does, and if anyone can make it… I think she can.”

Rain’s chest filled with something unrecognizable as she ducked back behind the wall. She couldn’t clear the smile from her face all the way back up the stairs and into her bed.

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“Rain.”

The sound echoed in her head, but her eyesight remained straight ahead. Set on the plethora of people moving about in front of her. There were so many. Too many. She didn’t know why it was so different from the crowds at her performances, it just was.

“Rain… Rain!?”

Ryan’s hand on her shoulder snapped her back to reality and she glanced up at him, her cheeks turning pink.

“I… I’m sorry. I got distracted.”

Ryan shook his head slightly, looking down at her with a raised eyebrow.

“More like you froze in time. Are you that against people?”

Rain shrugged her shoulder, his hand quietly falling off of it.

“I’m not against people. It’s not like that. I just…”

She wondered if she was that much of a freak. If it was just easy for everyone else to be in a crowd. 

Ryan looked like he wanted to understand, but didn't.

The weeks between Christmas and the date for auditions had passed much more quickly than Rain anticipated, and the nerves were finally starting to get to her. She couldn't seem to act like a human being very well at all. She and Ryan were finally flying to London, and the anxiety seemed to almost choke her.

"Two days. What if I fall down or I mess it up and I don't get in and my dad makes me quit dancing and I lose everything I've ever worked for and-"

Ryan put a hand on Rain's face and she immediately stopped speaking, her eyes widening as he lifted her chin to look at him.

"Rain, you're going to kill it. I promise."

He smiled down at her and her stomach flipped the way it always did. That infectious thing that permeated her head when he was in her presence. She could never help but return his smile. Every single time.

"I... Thank you, Ryan."

She put her hand over his on her face, and the moment she did, it was like it clicked in his head exactly what he was doing. He dropped his hand away and looked out the way Rain had at the crowd of people.

"You're welcome. Ready to go?"

Rain let out a long, slow sigh, grabbing her carry-on.

"I am. I can do this."

Ryan reached down for her hand, squeezing it for a moment before letting it go.

"You can. You will. You have this, Rain. I promise."

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Rain slid the hotel door shut quietly behind her, trying her hardest not to make any noise and wake Ryan up. They were sharing a room for God knows what reason, but they didn't share a bed. She wouldn't have even if he had asked.

She barely made any noise as she made her way to the huge balcony doors that led to the view she'd been dying to inspect down the hall. She left them standing open behind her, walking over to the metal that surrounded the drop to the London streets below her. The moon was big and beautiful and water fell quietly from the sky, but not hard. 

Enough to make her shiver though. She felt the rain on her skin and wished for a moment she had thought to bring a jacket. It was pretty dark and being alone out here was something her parents would have never allowed to happen.

She wrapped her fingers around the cold iron and leaned over, closing her eyes and just taking it all in. The noise, the feel of the wind on her skin, the smell of a city she felt she was meant to be in. It was almost magical, the way it made her feel. Like she finally had found where she actually belonged.

She was so lost in her mind she didn't know anyone had joined her until a soft touch was on her back.

"Lean over any farther and you might just fall."

She jumped at the voice, regaining her balance on her feet in an instant. She brushed her hair out of her face and turned to face the guy she was pretty sure she recognized.

"I'm s-sorry. Am I not supposed to be out here?"

Her voice was quiet, but he smiled down at her, leaning against the banister next to her.

"You're perfectly fine, Rain. You looked like you were enjoying yourself, and I'm not going to be the one to stop you."

She blinked as he said her name, folding her hands in front of her stomach. Realization settled into her mind and she smiled instantly, his name floating to the surface.

"Hawthorne, right? You're the reason that I'm here."

He nodded once, taking a step closer to her. For that brief flash of time, it seemed as if he was going to touch her. But he didn't. Instead, he faced out toward the open air and let out a long sigh, running his fingers over the rain that had collected on the metal.

"You're correct about one of those things. However, you're here because of yourself. Not me."

He lifted his head to look at her, smiling softly.

"I just gave you the opportunity."

Rain's brow crinkled in confusion for a moment. Mostly because she didn't see the difference. And because she wanted to refute his comment. But she kept quiet, looking out the way that he was.

"Well, thank you. Regardless. I'm not so sure I'll even make it in. But this is a chance I could never repay you for."


She put her fingers back around the cold steel, looking down at the street below her with a smile on her lips. Hawthorne's hand was close, and in a few seconds, he put it over her own.

"You could. Let's say you make it in.... Have dinner with me your first night here?"

Rain's eyes lifted from his hand over hers up to his face, her chest fluttering.

"I... What? Like a date?"

Hawthorne nodded, reaching out to brush a piece of hair out of her eyes that the wind had blown there.

"Exactly. Unless you have someone that wouldn't like that?"

Rain's thoughts bounced from her father, to her mother and then, for a moment, settled on Ryan. For some reason she wasn't sure she could articulate. She pushed it out of her mind, returned the smile Hawthorne directed at her. Although she knew for a fact it could never match the light in his.

"I don't."

She knew better than the words that left her lips. But then again, who was to say she would even make it in.

Or that any of them would ever have to know.


 "It's settled then. You make in it, and you're mine."

The way he said the last word made Rain shiver again. But she couldn't place why. She felt out of her league in his presence. And completely unsure as to why he would even pay attention to a girl like her. But she went with it, nodding once.

"Okay."

His eyes flashed for a second and the smile on his lips was foreign to her.

"Perfect."

"Rain? What are you doing out here?"

Rain jumped at Ryan's voice, moving her hand quickly from underneath Hawthorne's. She looked at him, her eyes full of apology. Why she was sorry, she didn't know anymore than she knew why Ryan's appearance would make her disconnect from him in the first place.

Ryan's eyes surveyed Hawthorne, falling on Rain.

"Are you okay?"

She bit her lip, looking down at the tile below her feet.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? I just wanted to look at the sky."

Hawthorne's eyes never left Rain's slight form as he sighed and his British accented voice spoke in a tone that sent another shiver down Rain's spine.

"I'm going to go. I wouldn't want to cause any problems for the two of you."

Rain looked up into his eyes, and part of her wanted to ask him to stay. Felt bad for him having to leave. 

"You wouldn't cause any problems, Mr. Campbell. Ryan's my friend."

Hawthorne finally removed his eyes from Rain and glanced at Ryan, his gaze unreadable.

"You can call me Thorne. And it's no problem, Rain. I'll see you tomorrow, after all."

His strides were sure as he walked over to the door, nodding at Ryan as he went through them.

 Ryan, on the other hand, was quiet for less than ten seconds, before he walked over to Rain quickly, bending down to look into her face.

"Are you sure you're okay? That guy seemed like he was making you uncomfortable. He didn't do anything did he?"

Rain was puzzled. He didn't make her uncomfortable? If anything he made her feel safe. Something along those lines. 

"Ryan, I'm fine. We were just talking."

He straightened up, looking back the way Thorne had went, his voice quiet.

"Not what it looked like."

Rain took a step back from Ryan, anxiety rising in her chest.

"What? Ryan... I didn't do anything. I don't even know him."

His gaze remained on the doorway, and his voice didn't raise at all.

"I don't trust that guy, Rain. I have a bad feeling about him. I don't think you should be alone with him."

Something clicked in her chest at his words and she let out a noise somewhere between a groan and a sigh.

"Ryan. Stop. You can't do this like everyone else. You don't know him anymore than I do. You don't get to choose who I hang out with anymore than my parents. I thought you were my friend?"

She brushed past him, heading to the doors, her chest bristling with panic. She didn't even know why. She never seemed to know why anything was happening anymore. Tears collected in the corners of her eyes and spilled down her cheeks before she could stop them, and she turned around in the doorway to face him.

The light from inside the hotel fell around her and illuminated Ryan's face. His confusion was ridiculously apparent.

"All everyone does is try to control me. No one wanted me here to begin with and now you're looking for a reason to make it harder for me to be. Why doesn't anyone trust me? Why doesn't anyone think I can make my decisions for myself and that I can decide what's best for me?"

Ryan took a step toward her, and she matched it with a step backwards.

"Rain, are you listening to yourself? I offered to bring you here. To pay for it so you could be even without your parents consent. I do care about your ability to make your own decisions.

I just don't trust his intentions."

Rain shook her head quickly, tears falling harder.

"Good thing you don't have to."

She rushed away before he could say anything else, sliding her key into the hotel door and crawling into the blankets. She buried her head in the pillow and let out a scream. It was muffled, almost silent.

Almost exactly how Rain felt. Constantly.

And she was tired of being silenced.

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