--------------------------------
"Are you really drinking and staring at a piece of paper?"
Apollo lifted one hand to Hale, his other wrapped tightly around a bottle of whiskey.
"Yes. Go away."
Hale did the exact opposite of what Apollo said, sitting next to him on the couch of the tour bus. He had Harpia's letter sitting on the table, but he hadn't opened it yet. He wasn't sure he knew how to. And getting drunk enough to open it had seemed like a good idea. Until he reached drunk as piss and had kept going, the letter remaining folded haphazardly on the surface of the table.
"We're gonna be in New Orleans in like... ten hours. Are you going to drink all the way there?"
Apollo lifted the bottle and drank deeply, tasting nothing. He sat it down on the table with a sharp clink, nodding.
"Yep."
Hale shifted his incredulous eyes from Apollo's now empty whiskey bottle to the paper on the table, letting out a slow breath.
"Just read it, man. For the love of God. I'm going to leave this room, and go back to my bedroom, and if you don't read it before I come back, I'm reading it."
He got to his feet, taking the empty Jack Daniels bottle with him.
They were stopped at a gas station, Apollo had known that for a few minutes, but it hadn't quite registered completely. He took the letter, shoving it into the back pocket of his jeans and exited the bus. He wasn't drunk enough to stumble, but he wondered if he was a full blooded human if he would be.
He made his way into the gas station, finding the energy drinks in the back with ease. He grabbed two of them, and walked up to the counter. When he pulled his wallet out to pay for them, the girl behind the counter's eyes widened.
"Aren't you in Flatline?"
He glanced at her, his eyes slightly blurry with alcohol. From what he could see, the girl was pretty young. Around sixteen. She had short, cropped black hair, and was wearing an Issues band tee. She looked like most girls who ended up at his shows.
"I am. Lead singer."
"And you play guitar, right? You guys are like, amazing.
That song, the last one of your album, who wrote that?
That was you, right?"
He watched her big blue eyes light up with wonder, and she dropped one of the energy drinks three times trying to ring it up as she spoke.
"Thanks.
And, yeah. It was me."
She smiled up at him as he handed her the money, her voice shaking slightly as she continued to talk.
"I went to your show in Austin. You didn't play it. Why not? It's the best one on there."
Apollo took a step away from the counter, the drinks in his hands.
"I don't play that song at shows."
He backed up toward the door, and she studied him for a second.
"The girl in the song, she hurt you right?"
Apollo put one hand on the door handle, looking over at her.
"It's a song. A story."
She grinned, waving at him as he pushed the door open, her voice carrying through the air.
"I know. But that one's true. You can hear it in your voice.
Have a nice night, Mr. Hunter."
He waved back at her, the words she'd said playing through his head. Was he that transparent? Was the song?
Or was this girl just looking for truth in a story that was just that.
Fiction.
He blew air through his lips, popping the tab on one of the cans he'd bought. He sat down on the pavement next to the bus, watching the driver talk to some random girl by the pumps. He took a drink, and reached into his pocket.
His hands shook more than he thought they would as he opened it, laying it flat against his knee.
The handwriting was scrawling, girly, and the paper smelled vaguely of perfume.
And it was definitely hers.
Hey, so you're asleep right now. I hope you're okay with me ripping a piece of paper out of your lyric notebook...
I probably would have done it anyways, though.
Also, it took me like... fifteen minutes to find a fucking pen. I almost had to write this in eyeliner.
You used to hole yourself up in the room all the time and write. Where the hell are your pens, man?
Okay, I'm getting off track. Or maybe I'm dancing around the subject.
I'm writing this because I'm too chicken shit to say it in person, but when you read this in a few days, I'll probably still be hanging with you in MD. When you do read this, let's sit down and seriously talk about it, okay?
Leaving you was such a fucking mistake.
Assuming you would hurt me and sleep with Caelum was a fucking mistake, too.
I've known it for awhile, and after spending these last few days with you... After making love with you again... It's made me just... Feel so fucking guilty.
I regret ever separating myself from you so much.
You know how I get and all about my lunatic tendencies. Dean really fucked me up, and I'm not using that as an excuse. I don't think I deserve good things. And if I actually get a good thing, I guess I just kind of subconsciously push them away because I feel like that good thing is either too good to be true or it's going to leave me eventually and hurt me.
And you... You were a good thing.
And I guess that scared me.
You made me so happy.
And when I thought that you and Caelum had sex, I refused to even step back and get an understanding of the situation.
My first thought was that this amazing thing... You... had come into my life, and in almost a blink of an eye you had hurt me.
And I should have listened to you.
I shouldn't have gotten the full story.
But nothing was going to convince me differently.
When the shit hit the fan and I came back to Riverview, I started hanging out with Londyn more often and doing so many drugs.
Through Londyn and her drug-dealing boyfriend Casimir, I got involved in some gang related shit. And through the gang, I met Amos.
Amos was so kind. He wasn't just some douchebag thug.
He has a heart of gold, and he knew I was hurting.
He was my rock for so long.
He made me feel better-- well, I'm not sure if he really made me feel all that better, or it was just a combination of him and all the drugs.
I thought I loved him with all my heart, but after reconnecting with you, I've come to realize that maybe... maybe I've just been in love with the idea of him all along.
Or maybe I do love him, but just in a entirely different way.
Platonically, and all that shit I guess.
After spending these last couple of days with you, it's become so evident to me that my heart's always belonged to you.
I don't think I've ever stopped loving you.
And I don't think I ever will, Apollo.
I feel like I'm kind of just rambling right now, but...
I want to start over.
With you.
I think that I'm going to break up with Amos tonight, then I'll go with you to Baltimore and we can finally be together again.
I don't even know why I'm writing this, anyways. By the time you read this note, you'll already know all of this.
I love you so fucking much, Apollo Zeus Hunter.
I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.
Love,
Sage
The drink in Apollo's hand slipped out, hitting the pavement and spraying all over the tire of the bus. And his shoes. He stared at the paper, reading it again.
And again.
It had to be a fucking joke, right?
The tap on his shoulder caught him so off guard, he jumped, fixing the person with the dirtiest look he could manage.
It was Vega, and he looked as surprised as Apollo felt.
"We gotta go, Apollo. Everyone's on the bus. C'mon."
Apollo looked back down at the paper in his hand, and up at the gas station.
"I'll be right back."
He threw the words at Vega over his shoulder, and walked back in through the glass doors and up to the counter. He pulled his wallet out, and the tour flyer he'd kept since the announcement out of it. The girl behind the counter was staring at him with huge eyes as he scrawled something on the bottom of it with the permanent marker she'd left there.
"What's your name?"
She almost choked on her them, but finally managed words.
"Bekka. What are you--"
He added her name to what he'd wrote and held the flyer out to her. She took it, the shock on her face still evident.
"I felt the need to clarify that you were right, and the story is true.
And she did hurt me, but not as much as I hurt her.
This will get you into any show on the rest of the tour."
He indicated the flyer in her hand.
"Have a nice night, Bekka.
And thank you."
He headed back for the door, but she called out to him, her voice curious.
"What are you thanking me for?"
He stopped with one hand on the handle, like he had a little while before.
"For making me realize it's more than just a story."
He let the door swing shut behind him, 'you're welcome' ringing in his ears.
Apollo lifted one hand to Hale, his other wrapped tightly around a bottle of whiskey.
"Yes. Go away."
Hale did the exact opposite of what Apollo said, sitting next to him on the couch of the tour bus. He had Harpia's letter sitting on the table, but he hadn't opened it yet. He wasn't sure he knew how to. And getting drunk enough to open it had seemed like a good idea. Until he reached drunk as piss and had kept going, the letter remaining folded haphazardly on the surface of the table.
"We're gonna be in New Orleans in like... ten hours. Are you going to drink all the way there?"
Apollo lifted the bottle and drank deeply, tasting nothing. He sat it down on the table with a sharp clink, nodding.
"Yep."
Hale shifted his incredulous eyes from Apollo's now empty whiskey bottle to the paper on the table, letting out a slow breath.
"Just read it, man. For the love of God. I'm going to leave this room, and go back to my bedroom, and if you don't read it before I come back, I'm reading it."
He got to his feet, taking the empty Jack Daniels bottle with him.
They were stopped at a gas station, Apollo had known that for a few minutes, but it hadn't quite registered completely. He took the letter, shoving it into the back pocket of his jeans and exited the bus. He wasn't drunk enough to stumble, but he wondered if he was a full blooded human if he would be.
He made his way into the gas station, finding the energy drinks in the back with ease. He grabbed two of them, and walked up to the counter. When he pulled his wallet out to pay for them, the girl behind the counter's eyes widened.
"Aren't you in Flatline?"
He glanced at her, his eyes slightly blurry with alcohol. From what he could see, the girl was pretty young. Around sixteen. She had short, cropped black hair, and was wearing an Issues band tee. She looked like most girls who ended up at his shows.
"I am. Lead singer."
"And you play guitar, right? You guys are like, amazing.
That song, the last one of your album, who wrote that?
That was you, right?"
He watched her big blue eyes light up with wonder, and she dropped one of the energy drinks three times trying to ring it up as she spoke.
"Thanks.
And, yeah. It was me."
She smiled up at him as he handed her the money, her voice shaking slightly as she continued to talk.
"I went to your show in Austin. You didn't play it. Why not? It's the best one on there."
Apollo took a step away from the counter, the drinks in his hands.
"I don't play that song at shows."
He backed up toward the door, and she studied him for a second.
"The girl in the song, she hurt you right?"
Apollo put one hand on the door handle, looking over at her.
"It's a song. A story."
She grinned, waving at him as he pushed the door open, her voice carrying through the air.
"I know. But that one's true. You can hear it in your voice.
Have a nice night, Mr. Hunter."
He waved back at her, the words she'd said playing through his head. Was he that transparent? Was the song?
Or was this girl just looking for truth in a story that was just that.
Fiction.
He blew air through his lips, popping the tab on one of the cans he'd bought. He sat down on the pavement next to the bus, watching the driver talk to some random girl by the pumps. He took a drink, and reached into his pocket.
His hands shook more than he thought they would as he opened it, laying it flat against his knee.
The handwriting was scrawling, girly, and the paper smelled vaguely of perfume.
And it was definitely hers.
Hey, so you're asleep right now. I hope you're okay with me ripping a piece of paper out of your lyric notebook...
I probably would have done it anyways, though.
Also, it took me like... fifteen minutes to find a fucking pen. I almost had to write this in eyeliner.
You used to hole yourself up in the room all the time and write. Where the hell are your pens, man?
Okay, I'm getting off track. Or maybe I'm dancing around the subject.
I'm writing this because I'm too chicken shit to say it in person, but when you read this in a few days, I'll probably still be hanging with you in MD. When you do read this, let's sit down and seriously talk about it, okay?
Leaving you was such a fucking mistake.
Assuming you would hurt me and sleep with Caelum was a fucking mistake, too.
I've known it for awhile, and after spending these last few days with you... After making love with you again... It's made me just... Feel so fucking guilty.
I regret ever separating myself from you so much.
You know how I get and all about my lunatic tendencies. Dean really fucked me up, and I'm not using that as an excuse. I don't think I deserve good things. And if I actually get a good thing, I guess I just kind of subconsciously push them away because I feel like that good thing is either too good to be true or it's going to leave me eventually and hurt me.
And you... You were a good thing.
And I guess that scared me.
You made me so happy.
And when I thought that you and Caelum had sex, I refused to even step back and get an understanding of the situation.
My first thought was that this amazing thing... You... had come into my life, and in almost a blink of an eye you had hurt me.
And I should have listened to you.
I shouldn't have gotten the full story.
But nothing was going to convince me differently.
When the shit hit the fan and I came back to Riverview, I started hanging out with Londyn more often and doing so many drugs.
Through Londyn and her drug-dealing boyfriend Casimir, I got involved in some gang related shit. And through the gang, I met Amos.
Amos was so kind. He wasn't just some douchebag thug.
He has a heart of gold, and he knew I was hurting.
He was my rock for so long.
He made me feel better-- well, I'm not sure if he really made me feel all that better, or it was just a combination of him and all the drugs.
I thought I loved him with all my heart, but after reconnecting with you, I've come to realize that maybe... maybe I've just been in love with the idea of him all along.
Or maybe I do love him, but just in a entirely different way.
Platonically, and all that shit I guess.
After spending these last couple of days with you, it's become so evident to me that my heart's always belonged to you.
I don't think I've ever stopped loving you.
And I don't think I ever will, Apollo.
I feel like I'm kind of just rambling right now, but...
I want to start over.
With you.
I think that I'm going to break up with Amos tonight, then I'll go with you to Baltimore and we can finally be together again.
I don't even know why I'm writing this, anyways. By the time you read this note, you'll already know all of this.
I love you so fucking much, Apollo Zeus Hunter.
I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.
Love,
Sage
The drink in Apollo's hand slipped out, hitting the pavement and spraying all over the tire of the bus. And his shoes. He stared at the paper, reading it again.
And again.
It had to be a fucking joke, right?
The tap on his shoulder caught him so off guard, he jumped, fixing the person with the dirtiest look he could manage.
It was Vega, and he looked as surprised as Apollo felt.
"We gotta go, Apollo. Everyone's on the bus. C'mon."
Apollo looked back down at the paper in his hand, and up at the gas station.
"I'll be right back."
He threw the words at Vega over his shoulder, and walked back in through the glass doors and up to the counter. He pulled his wallet out, and the tour flyer he'd kept since the announcement out of it. The girl behind the counter was staring at him with huge eyes as he scrawled something on the bottom of it with the permanent marker she'd left there.
"What's your name?"
She almost choked on her them, but finally managed words.
"Bekka. What are you--"
He added her name to what he'd wrote and held the flyer out to her. She took it, the shock on her face still evident.
"I felt the need to clarify that you were right, and the story is true.
And she did hurt me, but not as much as I hurt her.
This will get you into any show on the rest of the tour."
He indicated the flyer in her hand.
"Have a nice night, Bekka.
And thank you."
He headed back for the door, but she called out to him, her voice curious.
"What are you thanking me for?"
He stopped with one hand on the handle, like he had a little while before.
"For making me realize it's more than just a story."
He let the door swing shut behind him, 'you're welcome' ringing in his ears.
------------------------------
Found a note hidden in my suitcase
Of everything that you just couldn't say
How'd you know I needed that today?
Wherever you are is where I want to be
Look around and tell me what you see
Everything, everything but me
No matter how many miles stand in between
In my heart is where you'll be
Holdin' on to all our dreams
With everything, everything but me
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Thank you bekka. Thank you so much. Yes. Harpia you tell him. Confess your love ahh! I'm screaming. This is great, amazing, they're going to get back together. Yayy.I lobe Harpias personality. And Apollo finally realized how to turn his life in the right direction. I'm so happy right now. Yay. Yay. Yay. Apollo spoke more then 3 words in this chapter, go him.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, this is amazinf, I'm not going to be able to stop smiling.
-Carley
I’m laughing at “Apollo spoke more than three words this chapter” honestly. I’ll be back to posing regularly soon! And posting an update on the updates page!!
ReplyDelete