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The beeping of the machines, the bustle of the hospital rooms, were so loud. Eden couldn't focus enough to think things through. They were standing in the hallway for the emergency rooms, feeling completely out of place.
She was waiting as patiently as she could, for someone to come and tell them anything. Atticus had taken care of Jett because it was like Eden was paralyzed, frozen.
"Which one of you is Atticus?"
The officer's voice cut through the rest of the noise in an instant. The three Simon children got to their feet and Atticus stepped forward, raising his hand slowly. Eden recognized this officer. She had seen him in the precinct buildings when she was a kid, she even thought maybe her dad had called him by name.
Not that she could think of it right now.
"I was told to give you this information, because you're the oldest one. Correct?"
Atticus nodded, but Eden's voice rang out, shaking with her words.
"I'm seven minutes younger than him, that's bullshit."
The officer looked at her, but didn't say a word. He seemed to weigh his options in his mind, his eyes falling on the baby who was sleeping again in his car seat. When he finally began speaking, it was like he was talking to him. Not to the actual adults who would be able to comprehend what was being said.
"It looks like your father lost control of his vehicle on a stretch of ice, causing him to veer into the oncoming lane. The other driver was speeding, and, we think, she didn't see the car come into her lane. They collided, and your father's car flipped.
He's fine. He has a minor concussion and is resting down the hall.
However, the two passengers in his car, and the driver of the other vehicle were not as lucky. The driver of the truck that hit them, was airlifted here, but she didn't make it."
Eden's stomach dropped and she met eyes with her younger brother, her mouth going dry. The officer didn't stop speaking, spinning more words into their ears, no audible hesitation behind what he had to say.
"Your mother is in the ICU upstairs, in critical condition from a lacerated kidney, and there was some damage to her heart. But, she was wearing her seat belt, and we're pretty sure that's what saved her life."
He stalled for a moment, and something was in his eyes that Eden couldn't read. His voice, it was composed. His posture was straight, and he didn't twist his hands, or shift his weight, his voice didn't crack with emotion. He didn't give any kind of indication as to what he was going to say next.
"Lyric, however, was ejected from the car on impact. The paramedics said she died on the scene, just a few minutes after the initial crash.
I'm so... I'm so sorry."
Finally, the officer's face fell. He quickly turned away, disappearing down the hall. Most officers are supposed to stick around, to offer condolences. But that was the last thing any of them wanted.
The quiet that followed his disappearance was as if nothing else in the world was happening. Like time stood still. The three of them were grouped together in complete silence.
Eden looked up at her big brother, and she saw the world collapse behind his eyes.
She couldn't think, or feel, anything at all. The realization hung in the air, but it didn't quite touch her. This couldn't be real. There was no way. She had just seen Lyric a few hours ago. They must have it wrong.
She couldn't be gone.
Not Lyric.
She'd just had a baby, her life was going well, she was happy.
Whatever God that was up there couldn't do that, could he?
She turned to Cassius and she didn't even register the fact that her brother's fist had connected with his face until after it had happened. Every pair of eyes in the hallway turned towards them as Cassius moaned in pain, blood dripping down his face.
Eden couldn't take it in. She couldn't get her brain to cooperate.
All she could think was
This can't be right.
She turned for the exit, and as she did, Jett awoke, his soft cries following her all the way down the hall.
She was waiting as patiently as she could, for someone to come and tell them anything. Atticus had taken care of Jett because it was like Eden was paralyzed, frozen.
"Which one of you is Atticus?"
The officer's voice cut through the rest of the noise in an instant. The three Simon children got to their feet and Atticus stepped forward, raising his hand slowly. Eden recognized this officer. She had seen him in the precinct buildings when she was a kid, she even thought maybe her dad had called him by name.
Not that she could think of it right now.
"I was told to give you this information, because you're the oldest one. Correct?"
Atticus nodded, but Eden's voice rang out, shaking with her words.
"I'm seven minutes younger than him, that's bullshit."
The officer looked at her, but didn't say a word. He seemed to weigh his options in his mind, his eyes falling on the baby who was sleeping again in his car seat. When he finally began speaking, it was like he was talking to him. Not to the actual adults who would be able to comprehend what was being said.
"It looks like your father lost control of his vehicle on a stretch of ice, causing him to veer into the oncoming lane. The other driver was speeding, and, we think, she didn't see the car come into her lane. They collided, and your father's car flipped.
He's fine. He has a minor concussion and is resting down the hall.
However, the two passengers in his car, and the driver of the other vehicle were not as lucky. The driver of the truck that hit them, was airlifted here, but she didn't make it."
Eden's stomach dropped and she met eyes with her younger brother, her mouth going dry. The officer didn't stop speaking, spinning more words into their ears, no audible hesitation behind what he had to say.
"Your mother is in the ICU upstairs, in critical condition from a lacerated kidney, and there was some damage to her heart. But, she was wearing her seat belt, and we're pretty sure that's what saved her life."
He stalled for a moment, and something was in his eyes that Eden couldn't read. His voice, it was composed. His posture was straight, and he didn't twist his hands, or shift his weight, his voice didn't crack with emotion. He didn't give any kind of indication as to what he was going to say next.
"Lyric, however, was ejected from the car on impact. The paramedics said she died on the scene, just a few minutes after the initial crash.
I'm so... I'm so sorry."
Finally, the officer's face fell. He quickly turned away, disappearing down the hall. Most officers are supposed to stick around, to offer condolences. But that was the last thing any of them wanted.
The quiet that followed his disappearance was as if nothing else in the world was happening. Like time stood still. The three of them were grouped together in complete silence.
Eden looked up at her big brother, and she saw the world collapse behind his eyes.
She couldn't think, or feel, anything at all. The realization hung in the air, but it didn't quite touch her. This couldn't be real. There was no way. She had just seen Lyric a few hours ago. They must have it wrong.
She couldn't be gone.
Not Lyric.
She'd just had a baby, her life was going well, she was happy.
Whatever God that was up there couldn't do that, could he?
She turned to Cassius and she didn't even register the fact that her brother's fist had connected with his face until after it had happened. Every pair of eyes in the hallway turned towards them as Cassius moaned in pain, blood dripping down his face.
Eden couldn't take it in. She couldn't get her brain to cooperate.
All she could think was
This can't be right.
She turned for the exit, and as she did, Jett awoke, his soft cries following her all the way down the hall.
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Eden tipped the bottle back, the wetness on her face, on her shirt, completely foreign to her. She couldn't be crying, because nothing was wrong. She was fine. She slammed the bottle onto the floor next to her and kicked her iPod with her foot, changing the song that permeated the smoke thickened air of her room.
Her door opened, and closed, and she didn't even look to see who it was.
"You're still right there?"
Eden tipped the bottle back, the wetness on her face, on her shirt, completely foreign to her. She couldn't be crying, because nothing was wrong. She was fine. She slammed the bottle onto the floor next to her and kicked her iPod with her foot, changing the song that permeated the smoke thickened air of her room.
Her door opened, and closed, and she didn't even look to see who it was.
"You're still right there?"
Kiara knelt next to her, her face forlorn. She reached out, placing her hand on Eden's knee. Eden's face remained blank, she didn't react, didn't say a word. She just took another drink straight out of the bottle of rum. Kiara exhaled heavily, moving and sliding down the wall to the ground next to Eden.
She ran a hand through the bottom of Eden's messy hair and touched her shoulder softly.
"You've been sitting in the same spot for five days.
Drinking yourself into a coma won't bring her back, Eden."
Something twitched in her chest at Kiara's words, but she didn't know what it was.
"I just want to be alone, Kiara. Please leave."
Her words were slurred, but completely monotone.
"Do you really think this is what she would have wanted? You and your twin brother do nothing but drink. Constantly. You don't leave your room, you haven't showered, or eaten, since you found out.
I'm the only one taking care of that baby. And it might not matter to you, but if you ask me, that's fucked up. If you should give a fuck about anything, it should be your sister's little boy."
Eden brought her eyes to Kiara's face, but her expression didn't change. She looked empty, robotic.
"Eden... Please?"
Kiara reached for the bottle in Eden's grip, but she shoved her hand away.
"Don't fucking touch me. Just fucking leave, Kiara. Go away."
Kiara got to her feet, a sigh leaving her lips and lingering in the air.
"You need to wake up. It's been a week. You need to deal with this, Eden. You need to feel.
Her funeral is tomorrow, are you just going to skip that to get drunk too?"
She kicked an empty alcohol bottle aside, shutting the door as softly as she could behind her. But it was like Kiara's words hadn't penetrated Eden's skull at all. They vanished in the room like smoke.
She took one final drink out of the bottle, the contents completely gone. She took one look at it and threw it across the room. It collided with her mirror and the sound of it shattering seemed to echo in her head.
"I am feeling. All I'm fucking doing is feeling."
The words carried no weight. They were so far from the truth.
She hadn't cracked yet. It was like, logically, she knew that Lyric was gone, but her heart hadn't quite caught up with the tiny shred of logic in the back of her mind.
"What was that noise?"
Carter's face was lost when the door opened. His question seemed to not have any real direction, just spoken into nothing. Eden didn't really respond, just nodded her head towards the mirror. Carter took the sight in, shaking his head slowly.
He crossed the room and dropped next to Eden the way Kiara had. What he pulled out of his pocket when he hit the floor was the last thing she expected. He shook the tiny bottle at Eden until she took it from him. Was he really giving her alcohol?
She raised an eyebrow at him, twisting the top off of it, bringing it to her lips. He held his hand out when she swallowed and she placed it in his palm. He took a drink, wincing at the taste.
"I've never understood how you and your mom can drink this shit straight."
Eden glanced up at him, tilting her head.
"I don't really taste it anymore."
Carter nodded, his eyes still looking into space. Still staring at nothing.
"I love you, Eden. You know that right?"
She blinked in surprise, his words hitting her somewhere in the vicinity of her stomach.
"I don't think I do, no. But thanks."
He handed the bottle back to her and she took a drink, not knowing what the hell was going on, exactly.
"I do. I love you. You've always been the most like me. I used to think you'd turn out to be me. It scared me when you were growing up, because I know how vulnerable I was as a child. But you surprised me. You're far tougher than I ever was."
Eden snorted, watching him take a drink. She watched his eyes never actually see anything. The way his hand shook as he drank, and the way his words seemed to collide with one another.
"I'm sorry."
Carter finally made eye contact with her, and the tears that fell down his face made that spot he had hit in her stomach ache a little more evidently.
"I'm sorry that I've not been around, and I'm sorry that I let your mom get out of control.
I'm sorry that when you were growing up, I never gave you the father figure you needed."
He took one final drink, twirling the bottle in his fingers.
"I'm sorry I took her that night, and I'm sorry I couldn't save her."
Eden was speechless. She felt his words twist in her head. They fell into her veins and rushed right to her heart. He blamed himself? How could he do that? He had nothing to do with this.
He didn't have the power to save her. No one did.
And all at once, the tears slipped down her face, her world crumbled around her, and she broke.
The feeling in her chest escalated so fast, she lost her breath. She shook with the pain of it, dropping her face into her hands. Carter leaned over, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He placed a kiss on the top of her head, and she turned her face to cry into his chest. His fingers ran through her hair, and she could feel his tears on her skin.
His words were soft, like they used to be when she was little and he was comforting her because her toy had broken. If only it had been that simple this time.
"If I could bring her back, I would. But I can't, and nothing can ever change that.
But I can't lose you too.
You're my little girl, and I can't watch you sit here and die."
He pulled away, wiping the tears off of her cheeks with his fingers.
"You're gonna be okay. I promise you, Eden. You'll be okay."
She ran a hand through the bottom of Eden's messy hair and touched her shoulder softly.
"You've been sitting in the same spot for five days.
Drinking yourself into a coma won't bring her back, Eden."
Something twitched in her chest at Kiara's words, but she didn't know what it was.
"I just want to be alone, Kiara. Please leave."
Her words were slurred, but completely monotone.
"Do you really think this is what she would have wanted? You and your twin brother do nothing but drink. Constantly. You don't leave your room, you haven't showered, or eaten, since you found out.
I'm the only one taking care of that baby. And it might not matter to you, but if you ask me, that's fucked up. If you should give a fuck about anything, it should be your sister's little boy."
Eden brought her eyes to Kiara's face, but her expression didn't change. She looked empty, robotic.
"Eden... Please?"
Kiara reached for the bottle in Eden's grip, but she shoved her hand away.
"Don't fucking touch me. Just fucking leave, Kiara. Go away."
Kiara got to her feet, a sigh leaving her lips and lingering in the air.
"You need to wake up. It's been a week. You need to deal with this, Eden. You need to feel.
Her funeral is tomorrow, are you just going to skip that to get drunk too?"
She kicked an empty alcohol bottle aside, shutting the door as softly as she could behind her. But it was like Kiara's words hadn't penetrated Eden's skull at all. They vanished in the room like smoke.
She took one final drink out of the bottle, the contents completely gone. She took one look at it and threw it across the room. It collided with her mirror and the sound of it shattering seemed to echo in her head.
"I am feeling. All I'm fucking doing is feeling."
The words carried no weight. They were so far from the truth.
She hadn't cracked yet. It was like, logically, she knew that Lyric was gone, but her heart hadn't quite caught up with the tiny shred of logic in the back of her mind.
"What was that noise?"
Carter's face was lost when the door opened. His question seemed to not have any real direction, just spoken into nothing. Eden didn't really respond, just nodded her head towards the mirror. Carter took the sight in, shaking his head slowly.
He crossed the room and dropped next to Eden the way Kiara had. What he pulled out of his pocket when he hit the floor was the last thing she expected. He shook the tiny bottle at Eden until she took it from him. Was he really giving her alcohol?
She raised an eyebrow at him, twisting the top off of it, bringing it to her lips. He held his hand out when she swallowed and she placed it in his palm. He took a drink, wincing at the taste.
"I've never understood how you and your mom can drink this shit straight."
Eden glanced up at him, tilting her head.
"I don't really taste it anymore."
Carter nodded, his eyes still looking into space. Still staring at nothing.
"I love you, Eden. You know that right?"
She blinked in surprise, his words hitting her somewhere in the vicinity of her stomach.
"I don't think I do, no. But thanks."
He handed the bottle back to her and she took a drink, not knowing what the hell was going on, exactly.
"I do. I love you. You've always been the most like me. I used to think you'd turn out to be me. It scared me when you were growing up, because I know how vulnerable I was as a child. But you surprised me. You're far tougher than I ever was."
Eden snorted, watching him take a drink. She watched his eyes never actually see anything. The way his hand shook as he drank, and the way his words seemed to collide with one another.
"I'm sorry."
Carter finally made eye contact with her, and the tears that fell down his face made that spot he had hit in her stomach ache a little more evidently.
"I'm sorry that I've not been around, and I'm sorry that I let your mom get out of control.
I'm sorry that when you were growing up, I never gave you the father figure you needed."
He took one final drink, twirling the bottle in his fingers.
"I'm sorry I took her that night, and I'm sorry I couldn't save her."
Eden was speechless. She felt his words twist in her head. They fell into her veins and rushed right to her heart. He blamed himself? How could he do that? He had nothing to do with this.
He didn't have the power to save her. No one did.
And all at once, the tears slipped down her face, her world crumbled around her, and she broke.
The feeling in her chest escalated so fast, she lost her breath. She shook with the pain of it, dropping her face into her hands. Carter leaned over, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He placed a kiss on the top of her head, and she turned her face to cry into his chest. His fingers ran through her hair, and she could feel his tears on her skin.
His words were soft, like they used to be when she was little and he was comforting her because her toy had broken. If only it had been that simple this time.
"If I could bring her back, I would. But I can't, and nothing can ever change that.
But I can't lose you too.
You're my little girl, and I can't watch you sit here and die."
He pulled away, wiping the tears off of her cheeks with his fingers.
"You're gonna be okay. I promise you, Eden. You'll be okay."
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The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Was the day I found it won't be the same
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