1-20: Everything You Want

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

----------------

"Sit still."

Eden scowled again, directing her glare in the mirror at Sophie. She instantly looked apologetic and Eden regretted the reaction, sighing. She looked back down at her cell phone while Sophie continued to try and tame the curls that Eden had naturally acquired from God knows who.

Sophie had put red tips throughout Eden's hair, after much convincing. She was practicing on Eden before her test at the hair academy she attended. Because, on top of her already extensive academic load, Sophie was in beauty school. Apparently she was nuts and could handle twice the amount of homework a normal person could.

-You're not going to get me to stay here. So you should stop begging. You sound like a child.-

She huffed again, her shoulders bobbing. Sophie's hand slipped and the straightener fell against Eden's shoulder, burning her. Eden groaned in pain and looked at Sophie again in the mirror.

"I said I would do your hair, but I didn't promise you would come out unscathed. Especially when you keep whining and shrugging and moving."

She looked like she regretted the words, but Eden knew she was right. She let out some type of noise and moved in some way every single time Xavier responded to her texts. He was frustrating her to no end, and she honestly regretted telling him she was even leaving. His insistence that he was going was unfaltering though, no matter what she did.

She was almost tempted to leave before she was supposed to. Just so he couldn't tag along.

Sophie straightened one last strand and the smile on her face was magnetic as she pulled a brush through Eden's hair, pushing it all around her face, so she could see it.

"What do you think?"

Eden smiled at her, trying to show excitement in some way. Since she sincerely sucked at it.

"I love it, Sophie. Thank you."

She was almost sad to have to leave her roommate behind, but Sophie had promised when Eden returned in the Spring, there would be a room here for her. Eden got to her feet and hugged Sophie awkwardly, but she returned it genuinely. Because Sophie was probably the sweetest girl in the entire world, which, after knowing Evein, it wasn't a surprise that Zach fell for her.

Which had become a thing. Sophie wore a giant diamond on her finger courtesy of Eden's oldest male friend. The fact that any of her friends were getting married when they were all only 19, irked her. She was turning 20 in November, and Zach was in September, but it was still weird. At least to her.

Then again... Her baby sister was having a baby at 18.

Eden was supposed to leave in August for Bridgeport. July was halfway through, and as the weeks had passed, she felt more and more anxious about Lyric having a baby. What if she couldn't handle it? She was so young, and babies were hard. She hadn't even gotten to watch Lyric's stomach grow. She had just seen her extending body in snapchats and on Facebook.

She was so tiny, and her belly was so big. It was almost comical.

-Fine. But, don't you dare tell anyone that you think I want to date you. If this gets around, I'll kill you.-

Her reputation was still tainted back in Bridgeport, you would think she would want to fix it, but she didn't. She liked being known as the girl with the stone heart. What would everyone think if they knew that it felt like it was made of glass now?

They'd think you were pathetic, weak. That you can be hurt now. No one needs to know any of that.

Eden shuddered slightly, taking the stairs down to her room. When she hit the bottom step, her heart rose into her throat as a shadow moved across the wall. Her first thought, was Alec. It was always Alec. She always had this voice in the very recesses of her mind, saying someday he would come back for her. 

But it wasn't Alec, it was Xavier.

She reached over the side and grabbed a pillow, throwing it at his head.

"Go away. How did you even get in here?"

Xavier rolled his eyes.

"I live here?" 

"Okay, well you can leave now, so I can lock you out where you belong."

She descended the rest of the stairs, avoiding getting within three feet of him.

"Just because you've kissed me now, doesn't make you any less of a stalker. Who just comes in someone's room without saying anything, anyway. Rude."

She was trying to talk her way through the anxiety in her chest. It was lessening bit by bit, but not enough for her to be calm just yet.

"Have you checked your phone...."

He asked the question blankly, and Eden pulled it out, looking at the screen. Of course there was a text there from him, saying he'd be in her room.

"Oh...."

"Yeah. I wouldn't do that. Not after-"

"Don't say it."

She cut him off, going over to her closet. She went inside, leaning against the side, letting the curtain fall closed behind her. She counted to three, squeezing her eyes shut. She repeated the action and her heart rate finally calmed down, but when she opened her eyes, Xavier had pulled the curtain aside, just looking at her. His eyes were unreadable.

Of course they were, she'd missed the flash.

"You okay?"

Eden sighed, running a hand through her hair. 

"No."

She didn't mean to say it, the truth. But she did anyway, and she looked up at Xavier, waiting for his reaction. He drew the curtain back and grabbed her arm gently, pulling her out of the closet. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

She shrugged, her face directed away from him. She was trying to deal. She was trying to be okay. On her own. She was a statue, she could do this. What happened to her had to go away on its own. She wasn't weak enough to be a victim of her past. 

And most of the time, it worked. But then...

"Eden. It's okay to not be okay..."

She shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest.

"No it isn't. That's not what I was taught."

Xavier groaned, anger coloring his features for a moment.

"Fuck what you were taught."

One of the only times Eden knew Xav was completely serious was when he cussed. So she looked up at him, reading his eyes. 

"You have to hurt sometimes. What the hell is life without feeling something?"

He looked irritated, poignant. His face was taking too long to go back to being stoic. She could read so much in his expression at once, it stunned her.

"I think that maybe I like you."

The words rang in her head. She'd only said it once before, to Nico. And for the second time in her life, she didn't mean to. Didn't intend to articulate to someone that they could possibly have the ability to affect her. 

This time, though, it didn't feel as wrong. It was still completely terrifying, but not... 

"You think so? Weird."

Xavier using sarcasm. Something else that didn't happen often.

"You're not telling me anything I don't already know.

You almost cry when I leave, and you kiss me like I'll never touch you again. I think that might be a sign."

Eden shook her head.

"I do fucking not."

Xavier seemed to finally notice that he was still within inches of her, and he withdrew, taking a step back.

"Okay."

They stood there for a few more moments, and finally Xavier broke the silence.

"I'm going to my room, Eden. I'll talk to you later."

Eden watched him ascend the stairs, wishing there was a way to take her words back. That she had never given them voice in the first place. She had sworn to herself she would never do this again. Never let herself feel something for anyone again. Let alone tell someone they had coaxed her into it. Panic ebbed at her insides and she glanced at her computer.

She really only had one option here. 

And she was going to take it.

-------------

"Eden what are you doing here? You weren't supposed to be here for three more weeks..."

Lyric stepped back from the door, her swollen belly not as swollen as it should be under her dress. She was 32 weeks now, and the doctor assumed she would give birth around 36. Eden brushed the back of her hand across her face and Lyric's expression faltered. 

"Are you okay? What happened?"

Eden shook her head, pulling her suitcase behind her into the house. 

"Nothing. I'm okay."

Lyric shut the door softly and followed Eden into the living room, her musical voice filling the gaps in the air.

"Then why are you crying? I don't think I've ever seen you cry."

She sat down next to Eden on the couch, her face full of worry.

"You can talk to me, Eden. I'll listen. I'm kind of good at it."

Out of all of the Simon children who could have become parents, it was clear to Eden in that moment that Lyric would probably be the best at it. Any child that would belong to her, would be incredibly lucky. Eden paused for a moment, just studying her baby sister. 

If anyone deserved to be happy, to have a real life and something like this to live for, it was Lyric.

"You look beautiful, Lyr."

A blush hit Lyric's cheeks and she flattened her dress as much as she could over her stomach, a smile touching her face for a moment. But it quickly disappeared as she continued to look at her.

"Thank you, but right now, I just want to know what's going on with you. Did someone hurt you? Is that why you left Saint Claire early?"

Eden shook her head, finally catching enough breath to calm the foreign pain in her chest.

"No one hurt me but me. I'm okay, I promise."

Lyric still looked concerned, but she seemed to drop it. Like she'd determined that asking questions was going to get her nowhere. She rubbed her hand over her stomach and reached out taking Eden's. She place it on her swollen midsection and put a finger to her lips.

And then Eden felt it. A force from inside Lyric hit Eden's hand and her eyes widened. A smile broke across her face and she didn't move her hand, waiting. When the baby kicked again, she let out a small sound, the feeling in her chest fading.

"Oh my God. That's..."

"It's something else, isn't it?"

Eden laughed, finally moving her hand. She'd never felt that before in her life. It did something to her chest she didn't exactly recognize.

"I can't wait to meet him, Lyric."

Lyric nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Me either."

------------------

"Whoa, hello."

Cassius dropped his bag on the floor, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge. Eden glanced up from the kitchen table, long enough to take in his appearance, then dropped her eyes back to the ice cream container in front of her.

"How long have you been here?"

Cassius asked the question, sitting down across from her. Eden raised an eyebrow, the look on his face bringing her out of her ice cream induced reveries.

"Three days... Why?"

He seemed to weigh his answer, taking a slow drink out of the bottle. 

"I didn't even know you were. I thought you weren't going to be back until August. Where's Xavier? I thought he and Atticus were coming with you?"

Eden dropped her eyes to the container and cleared her throat.

"He decided not to come. And Atticus will be here on time."

Cassius' face grew suspicious, and he twisted the cap back onto the bottle, rolling it across the table into her hand.

"You can't lie to a liar."

Eden pushed the bottle off of the table onto the floor, kicking it across the room.

"We aren't friends. Stop talking to me like we are. My life is none of your business."

Cassius didn't change expressions, still giving her the same suspicious glare.

"Xavier is crazy about you."

That was all Cassius said as he got to his feet, leaving the water bottle where Eden had kicked it. She knew he had to be lying to her. Being a manipulative little jerk the way he always was. He was probably telling her exactly the opposite of how Xav really felt. Playing with her head, playing games, being Cassius.

He had no reason to be nice to her, so why would he be?

Cassius didn't do, or say, anything unless there was something in it for him.

She shoved the ice cream back into the freezer, reaching for her phone, out of habit.

And then she remembered... She'd left it in Saint Claire. On purpose.

"Maybe, if you slam the freezer door harder, you'll be less upset."

Carter rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, walking over to the sink. He turned on the cold water and filled a glass, looking over at his daughter.

"Why is every member of my family speaking to me now that I'm home? It's not like any of you paid attention to me when I actually lived here all the time."

Eden opened the freezer door and slammed it one more time, out of spite. Carter looked back at the sink, shaking his head.

"You look like crap."

Eden glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Gee, thanks dad."

He nodded once.

"No problem."

Eden used to be her dad's shadow. As a child, he always paid the most attention to her. He used to say she was his 'mini me'. That she reminded him the most of himself. He spoiled her rotten, treated her like a princess. When she was really little, he used to tell her, on her birthday, that she would always be his favorite. Just not to tell the others.

How things change.

As she grew up, and he worked more, they drifted apart. And she still held resentment for that. 

He tossed something to her, and she caught it. She looked down in her hands at what it was, her eyes narrowing. Why would he give her some random ring? Sure it was pretty, and it was huge. It barely fit on her finger at all. The stone was vaguely familiar in color, but she couldn't quite place it. She slid it on, looking up at him calculatingly. 

"Why are you giving me this?"

Carter shrugged a shoulder, putting his empty glass in the sink.

"I thought it might help."

"How exactly, is this going to help me?"

Carter smiled, and Eden recognized it instantly. The same smile he used to give her when she was a kid. She almost returned it, but the bitterness soaked through before she could.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out."

-----------------

I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why