You always know how to bring me down.
Let's just face it now, I'm never changing.
--------
"The damage to the plane was catastrophic. As of this morning, there are no known survivors."
Eden dropped her head into her hands, blowing air through her lips. She was having the omega of mixed emotions. She couldn't stop watching, and she couldn't stop the anger that seeped into her thoughts even through the pity she felt. Sarah's parents had been on a plane to Egypt that had crashed over the Atlantic. Killing everyone on board.
Her dad had pulled her aside this morning, after the party where she'd caught him and Sarah kissing. He had flipped on the news and walked away without a word. She hadn't even had a chance to say anything to her mom. Had a chance to confront him. But clearly he knew that she saw.
So why didn't it change the way she felt? Why was she still so mad at Sarah for her reaction?
Maybe because normal people don't fucking try to bang someone's dad in the aftermath of grief.
She was bitter, and she was angry. This news didn't seem to placate that at all. She brought her eyes back to the TV and sighed loudly, tossing the remote across the room. It crashed into the wall and knocked Atticus' Xbox over in succession. She'd apologize for that later.
She got to her feet and left the TV playing, taking the stairs up to her room with the newscast blaring in the background. She could call and say that she was sorry to Sarah. She could. But she wouldn't. Let everyone else give her their sorry cards. She didn't want her friendship. Not after this.
So she'd be the cold, demented one she was so used to being.
She dropped onto the ground next to her laptop and directed her eyes out the window. It had just stopped raining again. It always seemed to be raining lately. She groaned and shoved the pillows decorating her little corner to the side and turned it on, clicking on the home button for Facebook.
It was more of the same. 'I'm so sorry, Sarah' and 'Are you okay?' over and over all the way down her newsfeed. Like everyone only had one thing on their minds and it was Sarah Kirkpatrick's life. Like the girl in question hadn't just altered Eden's completely. Had Carter even told Aria? Would he? Would Eden need to do that too?
Because even on a really, really good 'Eden feels nice' day, she never talked to her mom. Unless it was a sideways comment on her drinking at forced family dinners. She bit down on her lip, copper filling her mouth and clicked the unfriend button on Sarah's page, slamming her laptop shut.
She was being overly violent and she didn't even care.
Her thoughts turned to Nico. What she could definitely accomplish through him. The release that could come from going to him as she always did. It was just growing more complicated. Too many feelings piling into this strictly sex relationship. Becoming something she didn't recognize as that anymore.
It almost felt like they were dating. She hadn't even been having sex with Max like she did before. Not nearly as much as she found herself in between Nico's sheets. Or he in hers. Since when did she only sleep with one guy exclusively?
Yeah, never. She never had. But she basically was now.
She'd been with Max twice. In over a month. She couldn't count the amount she'd been with Nico. She groaned, falling onto her back. Her eyes traced the ceiling and she couldn't keep her mind from wandering to him. Again and again like he was her next hit of nicotine. So what does this fucking mean, even? Was he as confused as she was? As to what the hell was going on with them?
Because she was pretty sure he was only sleeping with her too.
She had just told him that he shouldn't stay last week. That she didn't want him sleeping in her bed, staying over, treating her like his girlfriend. But then she'd let him stay on purpose last night. And it hadn't been the alcohol talking.
Okay... so that means something has to change. In some way or another, it's got to be different. This isn't me. This isn't what I do.
This isn't how I play this stupid game.
-------------
"So, I heard you and Nico are a thing now."
Eden snapped her head in Kiara's direction, slamming her locker shut. The expression that colored her face was far from friendly. She grabbed Kiara's arm and pulled her into an empty classroom next to them, leaning against the door.
"You heard what?"
Kiara raised an eyebrow, diverting her weight into the back of the chair next to her.
"That you're failing calculus cause you keep skipping it?"
Eden blinked at her, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth and exhaling dramatically. That was not what she had heard. What the hell was going on with her head? Why was she suddenly so caught up in this? And since when did she hear things people didn't say?
"Are you okay, E?"
Kiara walked over to her, tilting her head in what looked like legitimate concern. Eden quickly stood up straight, reaching behind her for the door knob. Space. She needed to put space between her and Kiara's eyes. Before she knew what the fuck Eden was actually worrying about. She pulled it open and ducked into the hallway, throwing her words over her shoulder.
"Yeah, I'm good, everything's fine."
This was becoming a valid anxiety. Nico was in her head so much he was tainting other people's words now.
"Simon. Hey. Come here."
Eden stopped short of the door to her calculus class, squeezing her eyes shut. Speak of the fucking devil. She turned to face Nico and did as he asked, walking over to him. But just close enough that she was out of his reach. He looked confused and amused and the combination made Eden want to push him down the stairwell.
"What do you want, Holmes?"
The corner of his mouth turned upward in a grin and she wondered exactly what could be playing through his mind. He gestured toward the stairs, and after a quick glance over her shoulder, Eden followed him. Which was a really stupid decision because Kiara had been right. She was failing calculus and this was exactly why.
The doors to the school slammed shut behind the two of them and her mind was so clouded with the taste of his lips on hers, she didn't even realize she was kissing him until her back hit the metal of his Jeep. His hands went to her hips and she pressed her weight further into the door, the cold bleeding through the fabric of her dress.
You should stop while you're ahead. You should end this before you get in so far you can't see the daylight anymore, Eden.
The thought faded into the back of her mind as he pulled her forward and the door open, pushing her inside, onto the seat. This wasn't anything new, anything she hadn't done. She'd had Nico on top of her more times than she could count.
Except all those times before, she hadn't felt so dazed in his presence. This was recent, and it wasn't exactly planned. It wasn't her.
She kept repeating it to herself. That it wasn't how she did things. That her brain was betraying her. Letting thoughts of someone substantially leak into her everyday mind. This wasn't how she worked. She didn't get caught up on anybody, or anything. Definitely, NOT Nico Holmes.
"Nico."
His hands were on her thighs and her pulse beat under his lips, but he didn't seem to deter with the sound of his name. Probably because it wasn't something he wasn't used to hearing in this situation. She bit down on her lip, reaching down and grabbing his hair, placing his face level with hers.
"Nico. For fuck's sake. Stop for a second."
His eyes were on fire, and usually hers would be too, but not right now.
"What. What did I do. What's wrong with you?"
She wriggled from underneath him, sitting up. Her back was pressed against the handle of the door, and it hurt enough to bring her thoughts together. Pull them out of the haze that he kept throwing in her face.
"That's it. Right there. I don't fucking know."
Nico copied her movements, releasing his weight from her legs, dragging his fingers through his hair. The confusion stamped on his face was much different than the avidity that had been there seconds before.
"What the fuck does that mean? We've done this a million times, so I don't get it?"
Eden groaned, dropping her head against the glass behind her and putting her hands over her face. She needed a drink. A cigarette. Something. This could not be happening. Not right now. Not ever.
"I think I fucking like you or something."
She spoke from behind her fingers, not even attempting to chance a look at his face and what was more than likely there. Wasn't that something she said she could never do? She had told him a million and a half times not to get attached. She didn't do attachment, relationships, liking someone. She didn't. She couldn't and she wouldn't.
Except, here she was.
She groaned again, louder this time, squeezing her hands into fists.
"What?"
Nico put his hand on her knee and she pulled her head up, moving her hands aside and glaring at him.
"Don't do that. Don't 'what' me. This is stupid. I can't like you. I hate you."
His face was nothing but shock. She couldn't distinguish any other emotion at all. She reached out and pushed his hand off of her knee, a whine leaving her mouth.
"Doesn't that mean that like... We should date or something? Shouldn't we do something about this, because... You know that it's mutual right?"
She winced, his words entering her brain without her consent. They bounced around and echoed, put on repeat.
"Uh no. Fuck no. I'm not dating you. Not ever. That cannot happen. I don't date. I don't do boyfriends, and affection and..."
She glowered at him again.
"This is so gross. What did you do to me?"
He released a soft laugh, shrugging. She couldn't read his face now. Something was there, something that seemed almost... smug. She felt her cheeks heat up and she leaned over, punching him in the chest.
"Fuck you, Holmes."
He caught her fist in his hands as she pulled away, a smirk on his lips.
"Well yeah, that was what I was trying to do, but apparently you 'like' me so you can't sleep with me."
She yanked her hand away and moved as far into the door as she could, shaking her head. She felt behind her, her fingers wrapping around the metal of the handle. This can't happen. Ever. She'd repeat those words in her head until they stuck. Permanently.
"Shut up. Shut the fuck up."
She shoved the door open and jumped down, leaving it ajar behind her.
"Eden, where the hell are you going?"
She heard his footsteps behind her, all the way to her own car, but she ignored them. Ignored his words and his fucking feelings that he had somehow infected her with.
"Home."
The engine echoed in the air and she didn't look at him, didn't answer any other questions. She needed to get as far away from him as possible.
And stay that way.
----------
"What's up with you? Why do you look like someone murdered your puppy?
It's Saturday night, shouldn't you be out at some party being stupid?"
Eden took another drink out of the rum bottle in her hand and snorted, keeping her eyes on the TV. Atticus' eyebrows raised and he nudged her shoulder with his own, looking at the flickering screen. There wasn't even anything playing. Just static from a lost signal.
"Ohkay..."
He reached for the bottle in her hand and she smacked his away, taking another drink.
"Eden you smell like a fucking bar already. I don't think you need anymore."
She shrugged, lifting the bottle so the last few drops in the bottom slid down her throat.
"I'm good. Just bored."
She dropped the empty container on the floor in front of her and kicked it away with her foot. It slid into the wall and a cracking sound cut through the air. Atticus groaned and slumped down onto the chair, crossing his arms over his chest.
"We might as well start calling you 'mom'. Seems to be where you're headed lately."
Eden snapped her eyes to his face and glared at him, throwing the remote in her hand at his head. He ducked it and it crashed into the painting her mom hadn't hung yet that was against the wall. She should probably stop throwing things.... She kept breaking people's stuff.
"At least my head is quiet now."
Atticus shook his head slowly, his face going blank.
"You're acting so weird. There's only two things that I can think of that make women act like you are right now. One is their 'time of the month' and the other is being in love.
And we both know it's not the second one."
He laughed, studying her face, how her glare didn't change, how she didn't even flinch, his laugh slowly fading into nothing.
"Holy shit."
He seemed to choke on the words, running a hand through his hair.
"You're not... Nico... No fucking way."
Eden quickly regained her composure, directing her eyes back to the static on the screen.
"No fucking way is right. I'm not. Like someone like him could do that me."
She reached next to her and pulled the cork out of the wine bottle that she'd stolen from Aria and brought it to her lips. Before she could take a drink though, it was taken from her grip. Wine slipped from the top and splashed onto her shirt and the chair she was seated on.
"No. No more drinking. You need to tell him or something."
Eden made a sound of protest, getting to her feet. She tried to grab the bottle from Atticus, but he held it out of her reach, which wasn't hard since he was six foot three.
"I don't fucking love Nico! Let me have the wine. For fuck's sake, I'm not hurting anyone."
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him defiantly, her voice so high in pitch she sounded three years younger.
"You are though? Yourself? Or have you never noticed how Aria is?"
He put the bottle to his own lips, and Eden scowled, reaching up and knocking it to the side. The alcohol poured out, onto Atticus, onto the rug in front of the TV, on Eden's shoes. She grabbed her jacket off of the chair next to her own and pulled it on, her expression bitter.
"If you need me to prove it to you, I will. He's nothing but sex to me, Atticus. Nothing."
The anger across his face turned cold and he set the bottle on the table next to the chairs and shrugged.
"Keep fucking drinking. It's not like anything can ever save you anyway."
His footsteps were heavy as he walked away and Eden felt her car keys weighing complex in her pocket. If it wasn't one person saying something about Nico, it was another. She was done with it. There had been enough. He really meant nothing to her, after all. She knew her own heart and her own mind.
He wasn't her boyfriend, and she definitely didn't have legitimate, deep feelings for this guy. She'd been sleeping with him since she was fifteen. She would fucking know. She wasn't some misinformed, stupid, little girl.
Maybe she liked him. A little. But love?
What could be more disgusting....
"Whatever."
She voiced the word to no one, heading toward the garage and her car. She probably shouldn't be driving... But it was too late now.
One way or another, she'd get rid of him.
She had to.
--------------
"Why are you here?"
Max cracked the door open, leaning against the frame. He looked down at Eden, shivering in the wind from outside. It was April, it shouldn't even be cold enough to make her shiver in the beginning of April in California. He opened the door a little wider when she didn't answer, looking over her shoulder at her empty car.
"Shouldn't you be with the redhead? I heard you two are dating now."
Eden scoffed, putting both hands on the door and shoving it open, out of his grip.
"Can it, Stage."
The door snapped into the framework behind her, and she could hear Max's soft laugh follow her all the way into his living room.
"I haven't seen you in two months. So, I think I can safely repeat 'why the fuck are you here'."
Eden took her jacket off and dropped it on his floor, walking up to him. She didn't answer, just pressed her form into his, trailing her fingers down his arm.
"Jesus Christ, you drove? You look and smell like you took a shower in vodka."
His syllables faded away and he reached down and pulled the hair away from her face, easily. Like they had never stopped being with each other almost every night. He didn't even seem to think twice of it, dipping his head to reach her lips. He broke away, brushing his hands across her hips, eyes far away.
"You taste like it too..."
His words were reticent, and she didn't have any. They were caught somewhere in that place in her chest she reserved for times like this.
She knew when he looked at her, he didn't actually see her. That when he touched her, he didn't genuinely feel her.
And that when he spoke to her, she didn't have to hear him.
Which was exactly what she needed.
---------
I know I'm a bastard, but I'm not a coward
But can't you see what you're doing to me
I'm falling faster, more every hour
Why can't you see what you're doing to me
Open your eyes
Open your eyes
This is killing me
Let's just face it now, I'm never changing.
--------
"The damage to the plane was catastrophic. As of this morning, there are no known survivors."
Eden dropped her head into her hands, blowing air through her lips. She was having the omega of mixed emotions. She couldn't stop watching, and she couldn't stop the anger that seeped into her thoughts even through the pity she felt. Sarah's parents had been on a plane to Egypt that had crashed over the Atlantic. Killing everyone on board.
Her dad had pulled her aside this morning, after the party where she'd caught him and Sarah kissing. He had flipped on the news and walked away without a word. She hadn't even had a chance to say anything to her mom. Had a chance to confront him. But clearly he knew that she saw.
So why didn't it change the way she felt? Why was she still so mad at Sarah for her reaction?
Maybe because normal people don't fucking try to bang someone's dad in the aftermath of grief.
She was bitter, and she was angry. This news didn't seem to placate that at all. She brought her eyes back to the TV and sighed loudly, tossing the remote across the room. It crashed into the wall and knocked Atticus' Xbox over in succession. She'd apologize for that later.
She got to her feet and left the TV playing, taking the stairs up to her room with the newscast blaring in the background. She could call and say that she was sorry to Sarah. She could. But she wouldn't. Let everyone else give her their sorry cards. She didn't want her friendship. Not after this.
So she'd be the cold, demented one she was so used to being.
She dropped onto the ground next to her laptop and directed her eyes out the window. It had just stopped raining again. It always seemed to be raining lately. She groaned and shoved the pillows decorating her little corner to the side and turned it on, clicking on the home button for Facebook.
Because even on a really, really good 'Eden feels nice' day, she never talked to her mom. Unless it was a sideways comment on her drinking at forced family dinners. She bit down on her lip, copper filling her mouth and clicked the unfriend button on Sarah's page, slamming her laptop shut.
She was being overly violent and she didn't even care.
Her thoughts turned to Nico. What she could definitely accomplish through him. The release that could come from going to him as she always did. It was just growing more complicated. Too many feelings piling into this strictly sex relationship. Becoming something she didn't recognize as that anymore.
It almost felt like they were dating. She hadn't even been having sex with Max like she did before. Not nearly as much as she found herself in between Nico's sheets. Or he in hers. Since when did she only sleep with one guy exclusively?
Yeah, never. She never had. But she basically was now.
She'd been with Max twice. In over a month. She couldn't count the amount she'd been with Nico. She groaned, falling onto her back. Her eyes traced the ceiling and she couldn't keep her mind from wandering to him. Again and again like he was her next hit of nicotine. So what does this fucking mean, even? Was he as confused as she was? As to what the hell was going on with them?
Because she was pretty sure he was only sleeping with her too.
She had just told him that he shouldn't stay last week. That she didn't want him sleeping in her bed, staying over, treating her like his girlfriend. But then she'd let him stay on purpose last night. And it hadn't been the alcohol talking.
Okay... so that means something has to change. In some way or another, it's got to be different. This isn't me. This isn't what I do.
This isn't how I play this stupid game.
-------------
"So, I heard you and Nico are a thing now."
Eden snapped her head in Kiara's direction, slamming her locker shut. The expression that colored her face was far from friendly. She grabbed Kiara's arm and pulled her into an empty classroom next to them, leaning against the door.
"You heard what?"
Kiara raised an eyebrow, diverting her weight into the back of the chair next to her.
"That you're failing calculus cause you keep skipping it?"
Eden blinked at her, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth and exhaling dramatically. That was not what she had heard. What the hell was going on with her head? Why was she suddenly so caught up in this? And since when did she hear things people didn't say?
"Are you okay, E?"
Kiara walked over to her, tilting her head in what looked like legitimate concern. Eden quickly stood up straight, reaching behind her for the door knob. Space. She needed to put space between her and Kiara's eyes. Before she knew what the fuck Eden was actually worrying about. She pulled it open and ducked into the hallway, throwing her words over her shoulder.
"Yeah, I'm good, everything's fine."
This was becoming a valid anxiety. Nico was in her head so much he was tainting other people's words now.
"Simon. Hey. Come here."
Eden stopped short of the door to her calculus class, squeezing her eyes shut. Speak of the fucking devil. She turned to face Nico and did as he asked, walking over to him. But just close enough that she was out of his reach. He looked confused and amused and the combination made Eden want to push him down the stairwell.
"What do you want, Holmes?"
The corner of his mouth turned upward in a grin and she wondered exactly what could be playing through his mind. He gestured toward the stairs, and after a quick glance over her shoulder, Eden followed him. Which was a really stupid decision because Kiara had been right. She was failing calculus and this was exactly why.
The doors to the school slammed shut behind the two of them and her mind was so clouded with the taste of his lips on hers, she didn't even realize she was kissing him until her back hit the metal of his Jeep. His hands went to her hips and she pressed her weight further into the door, the cold bleeding through the fabric of her dress.
You should stop while you're ahead. You should end this before you get in so far you can't see the daylight anymore, Eden.
The thought faded into the back of her mind as he pulled her forward and the door open, pushing her inside, onto the seat. This wasn't anything new, anything she hadn't done. She'd had Nico on top of her more times than she could count.
Except all those times before, she hadn't felt so dazed in his presence. This was recent, and it wasn't exactly planned. It wasn't her.
She kept repeating it to herself. That it wasn't how she did things. That her brain was betraying her. Letting thoughts of someone substantially leak into her everyday mind. This wasn't how she worked. She didn't get caught up on anybody, or anything. Definitely, NOT Nico Holmes.
"Nico."
His hands were on her thighs and her pulse beat under his lips, but he didn't seem to deter with the sound of his name. Probably because it wasn't something he wasn't used to hearing in this situation. She bit down on her lip, reaching down and grabbing his hair, placing his face level with hers.
"Nico. For fuck's sake. Stop for a second."
His eyes were on fire, and usually hers would be too, but not right now.
"What. What did I do. What's wrong with you?"
She wriggled from underneath him, sitting up. Her back was pressed against the handle of the door, and it hurt enough to bring her thoughts together. Pull them out of the haze that he kept throwing in her face.
"That's it. Right there. I don't fucking know."
Nico copied her movements, releasing his weight from her legs, dragging his fingers through his hair. The confusion stamped on his face was much different than the avidity that had been there seconds before.
"What the fuck does that mean? We've done this a million times, so I don't get it?"
Eden groaned, dropping her head against the glass behind her and putting her hands over her face. She needed a drink. A cigarette. Something. This could not be happening. Not right now. Not ever.
"I think I fucking like you or something."
She spoke from behind her fingers, not even attempting to chance a look at his face and what was more than likely there. Wasn't that something she said she could never do? She had told him a million and a half times not to get attached. She didn't do attachment, relationships, liking someone. She didn't. She couldn't and she wouldn't.
Except, here she was.
She groaned again, louder this time, squeezing her hands into fists.
"What?"
Nico put his hand on her knee and she pulled her head up, moving her hands aside and glaring at him.
"Don't do that. Don't 'what' me. This is stupid. I can't like you. I hate you."
His face was nothing but shock. She couldn't distinguish any other emotion at all. She reached out and pushed his hand off of her knee, a whine leaving her mouth.
"Doesn't that mean that like... We should date or something? Shouldn't we do something about this, because... You know that it's mutual right?"
She winced, his words entering her brain without her consent. They bounced around and echoed, put on repeat.
"Uh no. Fuck no. I'm not dating you. Not ever. That cannot happen. I don't date. I don't do boyfriends, and affection and..."
She glowered at him again.
"This is so gross. What did you do to me?"
He released a soft laugh, shrugging. She couldn't read his face now. Something was there, something that seemed almost... smug. She felt her cheeks heat up and she leaned over, punching him in the chest.
"Fuck you, Holmes."
He caught her fist in his hands as she pulled away, a smirk on his lips.
"Well yeah, that was what I was trying to do, but apparently you 'like' me so you can't sleep with me."
She yanked her hand away and moved as far into the door as she could, shaking her head. She felt behind her, her fingers wrapping around the metal of the handle. This can't happen. Ever. She'd repeat those words in her head until they stuck. Permanently.
"Shut up. Shut the fuck up."
She shoved the door open and jumped down, leaving it ajar behind her.
(Eden's car is black but my game hates me, please pretend >_> )
"Eden, where the hell are you going?"
She heard his footsteps behind her, all the way to her own car, but she ignored them. Ignored his words and his fucking feelings that he had somehow infected her with.
"Home."
The engine echoed in the air and she didn't look at him, didn't answer any other questions. She needed to get as far away from him as possible.
And stay that way.
----------
"What's up with you? Why do you look like someone murdered your puppy?
It's Saturday night, shouldn't you be out at some party being stupid?"
Eden took another drink out of the rum bottle in her hand and snorted, keeping her eyes on the TV. Atticus' eyebrows raised and he nudged her shoulder with his own, looking at the flickering screen. There wasn't even anything playing. Just static from a lost signal.
"Ohkay..."
He reached for the bottle in her hand and she smacked his away, taking another drink.
"Eden you smell like a fucking bar already. I don't think you need anymore."
She shrugged, lifting the bottle so the last few drops in the bottom slid down her throat.
"I'm good. Just bored."
She dropped the empty container on the floor in front of her and kicked it away with her foot. It slid into the wall and a cracking sound cut through the air. Atticus groaned and slumped down onto the chair, crossing his arms over his chest.
"We might as well start calling you 'mom'. Seems to be where you're headed lately."
Eden snapped her eyes to his face and glared at him, throwing the remote in her hand at his head. He ducked it and it crashed into the painting her mom hadn't hung yet that was against the wall. She should probably stop throwing things.... She kept breaking people's stuff.
"At least my head is quiet now."
Atticus shook his head slowly, his face going blank.
"You're acting so weird. There's only two things that I can think of that make women act like you are right now. One is their 'time of the month' and the other is being in love.
And we both know it's not the second one."
He laughed, studying her face, how her glare didn't change, how she didn't even flinch, his laugh slowly fading into nothing.
"Holy shit."
He seemed to choke on the words, running a hand through his hair.
"You're not... Nico... No fucking way."
Eden quickly regained her composure, directing her eyes back to the static on the screen.
"No fucking way is right. I'm not. Like someone like him could do that me."
She reached next to her and pulled the cork out of the wine bottle that she'd stolen from Aria and brought it to her lips. Before she could take a drink though, it was taken from her grip. Wine slipped from the top and splashed onto her shirt and the chair she was seated on.
"No. No more drinking. You need to tell him or something."
Eden made a sound of protest, getting to her feet. She tried to grab the bottle from Atticus, but he held it out of her reach, which wasn't hard since he was six foot three.
"I don't fucking love Nico! Let me have the wine. For fuck's sake, I'm not hurting anyone."
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him defiantly, her voice so high in pitch she sounded three years younger.
"You are though? Yourself? Or have you never noticed how Aria is?"
He put the bottle to his own lips, and Eden scowled, reaching up and knocking it to the side. The alcohol poured out, onto Atticus, onto the rug in front of the TV, on Eden's shoes. She grabbed her jacket off of the chair next to her own and pulled it on, her expression bitter.
"If you need me to prove it to you, I will. He's nothing but sex to me, Atticus. Nothing."
The anger across his face turned cold and he set the bottle on the table next to the chairs and shrugged.
"Keep fucking drinking. It's not like anything can ever save you anyway."
His footsteps were heavy as he walked away and Eden felt her car keys weighing complex in her pocket. If it wasn't one person saying something about Nico, it was another. She was done with it. There had been enough. He really meant nothing to her, after all. She knew her own heart and her own mind.
He wasn't her boyfriend, and she definitely didn't have legitimate, deep feelings for this guy. She'd been sleeping with him since she was fifteen. She would fucking know. She wasn't some misinformed, stupid, little girl.
Maybe she liked him. A little. But love?
What could be more disgusting....
"Whatever."
She voiced the word to no one, heading toward the garage and her car. She probably shouldn't be driving... But it was too late now.
One way or another, she'd get rid of him.
She had to.
--------------
"Why are you here?"
Max cracked the door open, leaning against the frame. He looked down at Eden, shivering in the wind from outside. It was April, it shouldn't even be cold enough to make her shiver in the beginning of April in California. He opened the door a little wider when she didn't answer, looking over her shoulder at her empty car.
"Shouldn't you be with the redhead? I heard you two are dating now."
Eden scoffed, putting both hands on the door and shoving it open, out of his grip.
"Can it, Stage."
The door snapped into the framework behind her, and she could hear Max's soft laugh follow her all the way into his living room.
"I haven't seen you in two months. So, I think I can safely repeat 'why the fuck are you here'."
Eden took her jacket off and dropped it on his floor, walking up to him. She didn't answer, just pressed her form into his, trailing her fingers down his arm.
"Jesus Christ, you drove? You look and smell like you took a shower in vodka."
His syllables faded away and he reached down and pulled the hair away from her face, easily. Like they had never stopped being with each other almost every night. He didn't even seem to think twice of it, dipping his head to reach her lips. He broke away, brushing his hands across her hips, eyes far away.
"You taste like it too..."
His words were reticent, and she didn't have any. They were caught somewhere in that place in her chest she reserved for times like this.
She knew when he looked at her, he didn't actually see her. That when he touched her, he didn't genuinely feel her.
And that when he spoke to her, she didn't have to hear him.
Which was exactly what she needed.
---------
I know I'm a bastard, but I'm not a coward
But can't you see what you're doing to me
I'm falling faster, more every hour
Why can't you see what you're doing to me
Open your eyes
Open your eyes
This is killing me
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