She's singing, "baby, come home" in a melody of tears, while the rhythm of the rain keeps time

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

1-6: Too Close

And it feels like I am just too close to love you,
So I'll be on my way


-------------

Eden's head pounded. Her heart was in her throat and her stomach turned. She sat up, scooting against the headrest of the bed she was on, clutching her stomach with her hand. She wasn't even sure whose bed it was. Her eyesight was too blurry to do much with what little she could see. She could barely remember any of last night. She hadn't drank that much in years. Okay, probably months.

Evein's death was really taking a toll on her. Not that she could ever admit that to anyone. It was as Atticus had said, she was the soldier. No one could see her falter. Hiding behind liquor and men was her thing. 




She dropped her head into her hands and rubbed her eyes viciously, trying to come to reality at least a little bit. She blinked a few times, her hands finally becoming clear in her vision. As she moved them aside, she recognized the blankets of her own bed.

When had that happened? How did she get home? She had been at a party, hadn't she? She trailed her eyes along the sleeping form next to her, raising an eyebrow. Since fucking when did her conquests stay in her bed? The answer to that was 'never'. Her features turned into a scowl and she reached over with both hands, shoving whoever it was off her bed onto the floor.

They let out a quiet yelp, taking the blankets with them on their descent. Eden smirked, getting to her hands and knees and crawling to the edge, looking over at whoever it was. She caught the bright hair and her smile instantly vanished.

"Nico, what the fuck?"


She grabbed a pillow from behind her and threw it at his face, narrowing her eyes.

"Why the hell are you in my bed?!"


He sat up, brushing his hair out of his face, looking just as disoriented as Eden had felt. 

"You fucking passed out in the middle of a hallway in someone's house we didn't know. I thought I'd be a good friend and bring you home. Sorry about that."

His voice was contemptuous which just pissed Eden off more. She grabbed the last pillow on the bed and threw it at his head, narrowing her eyes.

"That's great and all, but that doesn't even answer my question. Why are you in my bed? "




Nico's sigh was loud, carrying a hint of annoyance and something else. He tossed both of her pillows back onto the bed behind her, missing her by inches. As he stood, he placed the blanket next to her and grabbed his pants off the floor, pulling them on. He remained silent, gathering the rest of his stuff. Finally, he turned to face her, running a hand through his hair.

"You woke up when we got here, we had sex, you asked me to stay. Thought for once, maybe, you actually meant something you said. But I guess the alcohol and whatever fucking drugs you took did the talking for you."


He grabbed his cell phone off her shelf next to the bed and slipped it in his pocket, opening her door. 



"Something really bad is going to happen to you someday, you know. You can't even remember being with me, who knows what the hell you could end up doing, Eden."

She shrugged, glaring at him, still irked at the entire situation.

"And I guess, someday, I might care. Also looks like today is not that day. So you can go, Nico."


She smiled, pulling a cigarette out of the chest next to her bed. Nico rolled his eyes, the door almost shut behind him when Eden's voice cut through the quiet.

"Oh and hey,"

He opened the door a crack, leaning in to catch her eyes with his own.


"Next time I ask you to stay? Please be smart enough to don't."

His expression hardened and he nodded once, curtly, slamming the door behind him. Eden's grin widened and she lit the cigarette, the toxins seeping into her lungs.



He'd never learn.

But something in the back of her mind was whispering. Reminding her that lately, when she was drinking, she was sending all kinds of mixed signals. Letting him get too many kinds of close. Clearly, last night was a shining example. She hadn't been meaning to, but she was drinking to escape all this shit she was going through with Evein. With coping. Which she wasn't exactly doing.

And even if he was an asshole who had too many feelings, Nico was a great escape.


Fuck.

------------

Eden boosted herself onto the counter, grabbing an apple from the bowl next to her. The house was quiet. Weird, because it was almost noon, and even in a house this massive, usually there was some kind of noise. Someone was usually home. But she was not about to complain. After Nico left, she had taken a shower, trying to wash some sort of awareness and feeling back into her body. Into her brain.

Almost as soon as she was finished being thankful for the silence, the front door opened and voices poured inside. From the sounds of it, it was Cassius and his group of little friends, and they were heading her way. She looked down at her shorts and tank top, her hair wet and messy on top of her head. This would be a great meeting.




"No, I don't think anyone is here. My mom keeps all her liquor in the kitchen, it's like she's too stupid to realize that we take it."

Cassius' voice got louder and louder, mixed in with a couple voices she couldn't quite make out. But they all three crashed into the kitchen and she sighed. Kyle and Xavier were with him. Truly her favorite three people in the entire world, really.

"What the fuck are you doing home?"


Cassius' voice was snide, and his glare matched his tone. Eden held the apple up, twisting it in the air.

"Looks like I'm eating. I mean, I know you're a neanderthal, but I would think you know what eating is."

His glare iced over even more and he glanced at his friends. Kyle crossed his arms over his chest, and Xavier rocked back on his heels, looking very out of place. Wasn't he a good kid? What was he doing hanging out with her pathetic brother anyway?



None of my business.

"Well, can you move? I need to get in that cabinet."

Cassius asking permission? Was hell freezing over?

Eden considered it for a second and then shook her head, biting into the apple.

"Nah. I think I'll stay right here. Although, if one of you somehow manages to get behind me, you can have all the alcohol you want."

She pulled her legs up onto the counter, crossing them. Her eyes locked on Xavier's and she grinned, tilting her head. Kyle snorted, walking over to her. He placed his hands on her knees and leaned into her face, his tone malicious.

"Come on now, Eden. Everyone knows it's never been hard to get behind you, and it never will be."

Eden's eyes dropped to his hands, her expression going blank. She looked up at his face and dropped the apple into the sink beside her. Without another word, her hands shoved against his chest, and he stumbled back, releasing his grip on her legs.



"Funny enough, you've never fucking been anywhere near me, and you never will be. You don't get to fucking touch me Kyle, and everyone knows you've always wanted to."

She slid off the counter, shoving past him towards the exit and her brother. She stopped next to him, ignoring Xavier's presence completely.

"Take whatever you want, Cassius."

She enunciated the syllables, looking back over at Kyle, his face red.

"But you should probably remind your stupid friends that they can't.

You know. If you care about anything other than yourself at all.

Because next time, I'll cut his fingers off."

She pushed the two boys away from each other and exited the kitchen, her ears ringing with her own words. The muffled noises of the three of them followed her all the way to the staircase, but she didn't make out anything. Didn't want to. Letting guys touch her when she gave them permission was one thing. What Kyle just did was a completely different level altogether.

Maybe she had given herself a reputation, she couldn't deny that, but that didn't give every single guy in this fucking town the right to do whatever they wanted.

Nico's warning echoed in her head.



'Someday something really bad is going to happen to you'

Guys like Kyle are the reason why those alarms exist. She'd heard stories. Rumors. Yet, Cassius kept him around. Xavier clearly was less of a guy than she had assumed he was too. Hanging out with that crowd. Eden was learning more and more who not to trust in this town. Being drugged at a party didn't help her trust issues either.

She slammed her bedroom door and crawled under her blankets, her eyes on the ceiling. Her bed still smelled like Nico's cologne and cigarette smoke. And the fucked up thing was, that's who she wanted right now. Even just a touch of feeling upset and she was knocking at Nico's stupid door. Like somehow he could make her feelings go away with his overabundance of them.

Maybe she'd never learn either.

---------------

Red, white and blue flashing lights cut through the smoky haze in Sarah's apartment windows. Another night, another party. It was the same thing as it always was. Sarah had just moved out of her brother's house into her own place (that her world traveling parents were still paying for) and it gave everyone an excuse to do what they always did.

Eden scrambled off of Max's lap and over to the window, pushing the window open just enough to look out. Fuck. It was definitely Carter's car. But he was nowhere around it. She couldn't see Dalton anywhere either. So what the hell was going on?



The party guests scattered toward bedrooms and bathrooms, leaving just Eden, Sarah, Max, Nico and Kiara in the living room. The ones who were confident enough that they wouldn't go to jail if it really was a bust on this whole thing.

Eden felt Max's hand on her back as he leaned over to look out the window too, and her skin crawled just a little. Sex was one thing, but lately, he'd been acting like she belonged to him. Like she wasn't sleeping with Nico too. Like this was exclusive, and yeah, no.

She brushed his hand away and walked over to the door, looking through the peephole before opening it and slipping outside. The sound of clicking heels on tile let her know the girls were following her too. The lights reflected on every surface, but still, neither one of the actual officers were in range of sight.

"What the fuck, Eden. Did you tell your dad where you were going?"


Sarah's whisper was right next to Eden's ear and she jumped a little, turning to face her with a grimace.

"Do I ever tell my dad anything? No. I don't know why the hell he's here, but thanks for blaming me."

Her guard was still up with Sarah, even though she had told her she forgave her. She had pulled a crying apologetic hissy fit in the middle of school, and Eden had told her what she wanted to hear to shut her up. Something about not having Evein anymore and Eden being all she had, blah blah. It was more than likely all a lie. But what is it they say? Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer?

Yeah. So, that.

"Eden, seriously?"

Oh, God. No. She turned around to face her father, her eyes squeezed shut. She opened them, but was extremely surprised that he didn't look angry. Just... concerned.

"Yeah, hi. Study group."


She was a good liar on a good day, but this didn't feel like such a good day with the way his expression quickly turned incredulous. He shook his head slightly.

"Yeah, of course. With around ten cars here?"

He sighed and pointed at Sarah, who looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"You're Sarah Kirkpatrick?"

She nodded slowly.

"Yeah... Why?"

He nodded toward the cruiser, motioning for her to follow him.

"Don't worry, you're not in trouble. I just have a few questions."

Her dad wasn't even in uniform. How could this be a routine police questioning? What the fuck was Sarah even being questioned for? And why the cop act like he didn't know who she was? Like she hadn't grown up with Eden and been at her house for a million sleepovers...


She looked at her friend, raising an eyebrow. What did you do?  She mouthed, but Sarah just shrugged. She looked just as clueless as Eden felt. She watched Sarah and her dad get into the car and the lights cut off, leaving spots in her vision. She turned to Kiara, grabbing her arm and pulling her back inside.

"What the hell was that?"

Nico asked. He and Max were across the room from each other, and they both looked less than happy about being left alone together. It would have been comical had Eden not been trying to figure out what the hell Sarah could have done. The room was still shrouded in the siren lighting and no one had even bothered turning real ones back on.

"No idea. But he said she wasn't in trouble? I don't know. What he's doing right now doesn't even seem legal. Not that my dad has ever been the best fucking cop."

Honestly, he was probably the worst cop in existence, and somehow he had moved up so far in rank he was a detective now. A really piss poor excuse for one, but. Max was still hovering by the window as Kiara and Eden fell onto the couch and a few people spilled back into the room. It was much more quiet than it had been just half an hour before.




"Fuck it."

Eden grabbed the bottle off the ground in front of the couch and took a drink, holding it out to Kiara. She didn't really care enough about Sarah anymore to worry about this.

An hour or so passed before anyone even acknowledged what had just happened again. The room slowly filled back up and the music returned to the earlier volume, like no one remembered Eden's police officer father was just outside the walls. Eden had continued drinking anyway though, her and Kiara making jokes about the blonde girls from the Christian all girls school in the city.

"Uh, Eden... You might want to come over here."

Max's voice was different enough to make her stop giggling at Kiara's latest joke almost instantly. He never sounded that serious. She hadn't even realized he'd stayed there the entire time. Observing. She got to her feet and walked over to the window, pulling the curtain aside. She couldn't see much, but what she could was enough.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

She turned towards the door, but Max grabbed her arm, pulling her to him.

"Eden, don't do anything stupid. It was all just talking but then she started crying. I d-"



Eden pulled her arm out of his grip and turned back to the door, throwing it open. Her throat constricted and all she could think about was destroying Sarah's existence. Probably the alcohol talking.

"I don't want to hear it, Max. I've had more than enough of her shit. This is kind of taking it a little too far."

He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged.

"Whatever, just thought you might want to know it didn't look like your dad reciprocated."

Eden snorted, the cold air from outside soaking through her dress, goosebumps dancing across her skin.

"Do you really think I'm stupid enough to believe that? I saw it too, Max. Damn sure looked like he was kissing her back to me."

But when she turned back to face the spot where her dad's car had sat, it wasn't there. The only sign that any kind of altercation had taken place was Sarah, tears running down her face, shivering in the wind. Eden walked over to her, tipping a little with her vision.

"I'm sorry, Eden. I'm so sorry."




Eden thought about hitting her. She really did. It just didn't seem like the real answer to this situation.

"You can save it Sarah. I'm done with you. I don't want you anywhere near me. Near my family. My house. You might as well pretend I don't exist."

She ran a hand through her hair, her cheeks flaring from the anger she was trying so hard to contain. 
She dropped the bottle she had been drinking out of at Sarah's feet and it shattered, covering the ground and most of Sarah's jeans with whiskey. She made to leave, to walk over to her car, but turned around instead, getting as close to Sarah's face as she could. 

"And you know, they like to say I'm a whore in this town, but at least I didn't try to do shit with someone's fucking father. Someone's husband. You're disgusting."

Kiara's voice was fiery, and her words wrapped around the hilt of Eden's proverbial knife, driving it in deeper.

"You're lucky that that wasn't my dad, because if it had been, I would light that whiskey at your feet on fire."



She grabbed Eden's arm, pulling her away from Sarah, toward her car.

What the hell was she supposed to do now? Tell her mom? Was Max even right?

From what Eden had seen, Carter didn't look like he was pushing her away, so what was the real story?

She slammed the passenger door to her car and groaned as Kiara slid behind the wheel.

"Why is this town so fucked up?

The entire thing and every single person in it. We're like a walking soap opera."

Kiara shrugged, pulling the car out of the parking lot back towards Eden's house.


"I don't know, but, I am pretty sure every teenager in this town just saw that go down. You sure as hell know how to make a name for yourself, Eden."

She couldn't tell if Kiara meant that as a good thing or a bad thing, but she didn't much care. She hoped Sarah's name was ruined for good. That's exactly what she deserved.

1-5: I Can't Love You Back

Trigger warning for those of you suffering from eating disorders. I just want you to know, ahead of time, this might be a good chapter to skip.

“A complete stranger has the capacity to alter the life of another irrevocably. This domino effect has the capacity to change the course of an entire world. That is what life is; a chain reaction of individuals colliding with others and influencing their lives without realizing it. A decision that seems miniscule to you, may be monumental to the fate of the world.”


― J.D. StroubeCaged by Damnation


-----------
15
"It's going to be okay, Evein. They're gonna help you. They'll make you better."

Evein sunk back against her mother's back car seat even farther, fixing Eden with a contemptuous gaze.

"There's nothing wrong with me, Eden."

Eden exchanged a glance with Carlee, Evein's mom, and looked back at her best friend. Carlee's features were drawn. Sunken in. Sad. Like she hadn't slept or done much but cry in days.




"I'm pretty sure catching my fifteen year old daughter throwing up in the bathroom means there is definitely something wrong with you."

Her voice matched her appearance, and it hit Eden in the stomach with such force, she lost her words for a second. She gulped in air, trying to regain her emotional balance. She felt so bad for telling Carlee what she had seen. What she had been noticing.

But that was her responsibility as best friend right? She couldn't just sit back and let Evein do these things. She had to tell. No matter what it made her friend feel, it could save her life.

She couldn't die. She was Eden's best friend. Since they were kids. She meant everything to her. She deserved a life. A real one. 


Eden had paid enough attention to her best friend to know, she was sick. Extremely.

And it had been time to stop it before it got worse.

No crying. You can't cry. You'll show your weakness.

"I told you, mom."



Evein echoed out with a groan.

"I ate something bad at school. I was just sick."


Carlee sighed heavily, turning the steering wheel and gliding smoothly through the stoplight.

"You've lost 26 pounds in a month, Evein Marie."

Eden snapped her eyes to Evein again, watching her face blank out as she took in everything her mother was saying.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Her voice contained so much honesty, it was sickening.

Before Carlee could say anything else, Eden cut through the silence.

"I love you, Evein. But we can't watch you kill yourself."


The air filled again with the crushing quiet and Eden looked away, watching the raindrops splatter against the windshield as they pulled into the therapists office that Evein now had to attend once a week.

Evein cast a disapproving glance at the two occupants in the front seat before throwing her door open and marching straight into the glass double doors.



Carlee looked at Eden, and all at once, she looked like she had aged 15 years.

"I love her, Eden. I can't lose her. Thank you for telling me. I hope to God whatever she learns in there helps her. I need my baby girl to be okay."

Eden watched the tears spill down her cheeks, numb.

She wanted to say something. Reassure her. But she, herself, wasn't sure this would help. Don't these things destroy you? Don't you have to want to get better?

She was ninety-five percent sure Evein didn't.


And in this moment... She wasn't even convinced she had done the right thing.
---------------
17

"Hey, Evein. Wait up!"

Zach's voice echoed out over the school grounds and she sighed lightly, turning around to look at the boy who had been following her around all summer. And the boy who had continued following her around when the school year started.

He had always been there, really. But she had never had reason to think that he cared about her as more than a friend until recently. He'd even taken her best friends virginity. She thought that that had to mean something... But she was pretty sure she was wrong.



He didn't seem to get it though. She didn't need friends. She didn't need attention.

And she definitely didn't need a boyfriend.


"What's up, Zach?"

He grinned lopsidedly, flashing off the perfect teeth 3 years of braces had given him.

"Just wondering if I could take you home?"

She hesitated, looking over her shoulder at Sarah, who stood next to her Firebird, eyebrow raised. She turned back to Zach, pulling her books tighter to her chest.

"Okay. Why not?"

She looked back at Sarah, nodding towards Zach. Sarah rolled her eyes and waved, climbing into her car. Her face had been clouded with annoyance.

Whatever.

-------


18
"Sometimes I wonder if you know how lucky you are."

Evein brought her eyes to Zach's, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Lucky... How? How am I lucky."

Zach sighed, the smile on his face faltering slightly.

"You're lucky in a lot of ways."

Evein reached over, pushing his shoulder softly.

"Is that you saying that you're not going to elaborate?"


Zach nodded.

"Of course it is. Did you expect anything else?"

Evein scooted closer to him, lacing his fingers with hers.

"Nope. I'm not ever going to, really."

Zach grinned and brought her fingers to his lips, pressing a kiss softly. 

"Good, because it's never going to change."

Evein dropped her eyes to the floor of her bedroom, trying not to stare. Zach had been everything she could have ever dreamed of having. It was weird.. How quickly she had changed her ways. Changed her mind. When she had found out he liked her, genuinely liked her, she wanted nothing more than to get better. To stay better.

She felt healthier.. But she wasn't sure she was.

And Zach... Zach had no idea. She wasn't sure he ever even knew she was sick. That she had dropped so far beyond being saved for a while, she thought she would never make it out. At the bottom of the rabbit hole, she couldn't even see the light anymore.

"Zach... I love you."

Zach looked up at her, his eyes wide with surprise.

"You... What?"




Evein nodded, taking his hand that was still wrapped up in hers and placing it to her chest. She could feel her heart racing, but she couldn't care less.

"I love you."

Zach dropped his eyes to their hands, a small smile curling his mouth. He leaned over, pressing his lips to her collarbone, her cheek, her lips.

"I love you too, Ev. I always have. I always will."
--------

The sound of the ringing sliced through Eden's dreams like a serrated knife. She opened one blurry eye, fixing her gaze on Nico's bedside table. Had she really slept here? She hadn't meant to.. She had meant to go home last night.. But apparently that hadn't been how things went down.


She reached over, sliding her other eye open and staring at the screen. She tried to make out the number through her sleepy, hungover eyes, but the numbers didn't seem to make any sense. 

She slid the flashing icon to the answer side and brought the phone to her ear.




"Yeah?"

"Eden..."

Eden sat up, far more alert at the tone in Kiara's voice. Was she... crying?


"Yeah, Ki. What's going on? Are you okay?"

There was a pause, followed by what was definitely crying...

"Yeah, Eden. I'm fine. But Evein..."

Eden's stomach dropped. No. She... She was getting better, wasn't she. It couldn't be..


"She had a heart attack last night. They said it was from complications due to her eating disorder."

Eden couldn't think. She couldn't connect the dots in her head enough to formulate a response.

"I thought..."

Kiara sighed.

"She was. She had been recovered for months.. But the damage to her heart was too significant."


So in the end... She conquered the monster, and it took her life anyway. 

Sounds about fucking right.

Eden swallowed the lump in her throat, glancing over at Nico's sleeping form and then out the window. She slid off the bed and pulled her jeans back on, and then her shoes. She made to go to the door, but hesitated just a split second, looking back at him.

"Bye, Nico."

She whispered, her hand over the mouthpiece. 

"I'm on my way. I don't wanna be alone right now... And where I am, I'm alone."
----------



Zach looked across the tops of the still-wet gravestones as the rain began to fall again, Atticus exiting his car with his hand in Kiara's. He issued a small wave and they approached him, not that he was quite sure speaking to anyone was what he wanted right now. 

"How are you holding up Z?" 

Atticus asked, running a hand through his hair. He looked like he had been drinking, which was far from normal for him... Especially with Aria being the way that she was.

Zach shrugged. 

"How the fuck do you think I am doing? The girl I was in love with just died."

 The words dripped sarcasm and a mixture of a few other things. Atticus huffed, his breath heavy with the scent of whatever he had definitely been drinking.

 "No one even fucking knew she was sick. You would think that you would have.."

 Kiara punched Atticus' arm, hard. 

"Would you shut up? Now is not the time for you to be a dick." 



Atticus shrugged, he couldn't help but be an asshole lately.. It was getting worse and worse and this... Evein... It was making everything more pronounced. He was trying to break the habit. Sort of.

Zach watched as Cassius climbed out of Carter's cruiser and Eden followed. She was covered in mascara and did not look happy to have been sitting next to her younger brother at all. 

She pushed past him roughly and rushed over to them. Her voice cracked as she asked Zach the next question. 

"Is Nico here?"

 She looked around, but quickly rubbed her face with her hands, dragging her fingertips under her eyes.

She had been crying on and off since they had received the news. So unlike herself, it was... Well it was something. Something could break Eden? She had such heavily constructed walls she was reminiscent of Jericho. 



Zach shook his head, pulling her into a hug. He looked up at the sky over Eden's head, it looked like it was going to start raining even harder. Like the weather couldn't give them this one day as a break. Like it needed to echo the heaviness that already shrouded the group.

And since when had Eden turned to Nico for comfort? He thought-


"What the fuck are you doing with my sister?"

 Cassius' voice came from over Eden's shoulder. She and Zach separated and she glared at her younger brother. He was really good at finding a way to insert his callous words into every situation. 

"It's a fucking hug, asshole. Go away." 


He smirked and crossed his arms in front of him. 

"Well, I don't know if Evein would have been very happy that my whore of a sister was all over her boyfriend."

Eden's fists balled up at her sides and her face clouded in fury. 

"Are you really going to pull this shit? Do you have to make every bad thing that happens to us so much fucking worse??" 

Atticus put his hand on Eden's shoulder and pulled her back. 

"Just ignore him, Eden. He's a prick and nothing matters to him but getting a rise out of us. Don't give him the satisfaction."


She huffed, exhaling her breath louder than she needed to. Her eyes were ice and she directed them straight at Cassius' own.


"I'd rather punch him in the face and watch him bleed. He shouldn't even be talking about her. He doesn't deserve to say her-"

Eden's voice faded out, tears slipping down her face. She couldn't even finish her sentence. Atticus reached out, grabbing the tops of her arms with his hands. 


"No, stop that. I'm not used to seeing you cry.

Wipe your goddamn tears and don't let him see your weakness.


 Like I always taught you. He feeds off of it."

Eden bit her lip, letting her anxiety slowly ebb into a softer form. And just like that, she went stoic. Let the feelings recede into the back of her head. Pulled her mask back into place and nodded once, taking a breath before speaking.



"You're right. I'm not the one who cries. But this... She was my best friend since I was six. It's not as easy to fucking push that away, Atticus."

Except, she had just done it. Just extinguished her feelings like they were the flame on a candle.
Kiara hissed, appearing beside them. She grabbed Atticus' arm, and he winced, making Eden think she had to have dug her nails in.

"You need to leave her alone, you idiot. Why don't you take your drunk ass over to your friends and leave us alone. Cause you aren't helping anything."

Atticus sighed, pulling something out of his pocket and taking a drink. He hid it before Eden had a chance to see what it was, but the stench told her it was definitely alcohol. She raised an eyebrow at Kiara.

"How long has this been going on?"

Kiara shrugged.

"A few days. To be honest, if he doesn't knock it off I'm just going to light him on fire."

She grinned at Eden, and she returned a small smile of her own. Her first real one in days.


Eden looked over at the gathering of people around the six foot deep hole. The headstone wasn't even in place yet. No sign that her best friend was going to be lowered in the ground there to rest for the remainder of eternity. 

"I guess we should go get this over with, yeah?"

Kiara's face fell and she tentatively wrapped an arm softly around Eden's shoulders.


"It's going to be okay, Eden. Maybe not today, but someday. I promise."

Her whisper was so soft, Eden barely heard it. But it was like she felt it in her core. She turned, hugging Kiara as tight as she could. They both turned to face the event before them. The one thing that was inevitable for all of them (the humans anyway), but had come for Evein way before it should have.




Death.

"Thank you."

-------

You'll be okay.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

1-4: Room to Breathe

I've been through and seen a lot
Left at the bottom and the top
We're on borrowed time, but time isn't enough
I'm just trying to be the best me I can be
When I fall down, it's just me and the ground



-------

Eden laid her head back against the concrete, staring at the bars surrounding her. She had been counting the seconds. Staring at the round clock nestled among the other things on the unoccupied desk in the room outside this cell.

"Eden."

Her father's voice was something she hadn't been expecting to hear just yet, but it relieved her at the same time.

"Daddy. Thank God. What's going on. Why am I here? What happened last night?"

Carter gave her a look. His features were a mixture of disappointment and what looked like could be anger. Understandable. But she didn't even know what she had done to get her here. She woke up in a cell.The only thing from last night she could remember was drinking with Kiara in the foyer of some randoms house.

"Well, that makes sense."

Eden looked at him, his words not making any more sense than her being here.

"What. What are you talking about? I mean, I guess I drank a lot last night, and I'm sorry, but I still-"

"They found rohypnol in your system, Eden. And your blood alcohol level was 0.29. Do you realize how serious that is?"

Her face went blank. She played his sentences through her head.

"Rohypnol. Isn't that-"

"GHB. Date rape drug. Eden..."

He reached out, placing a hand lightly on her shoulder.

"You're lucky all that happened was you wrecking those cars. You can't do this. You can't be this reckless. You can't take random drugs and-"

Eden pushed his hand off.

"I didn't take anything. And what cars?"

Her anger was building. Her voice rising with each word.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about, Dad."


He sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"At this point, I don't even know if I can believe a word you say anymore. I thought I could trust you. But it's been a long time. 

You're lucky Max's father isn't pressing charges. However.."

He brought his eyes to hers, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"There are consequences to what you did to Cassius'."

Eden's eyes widened.

"But I really don't know what the fuck I did. I have no idea what you're talking about."

She repeated, running her hands through her hair.

"Shouldn't the actual worry here be who the fuck would drug me? Why isn't that a concern? Why am I in this cell and not the creep who did this?"

Carter turned, opening the door to the cell.

"That's easy, Eden. I don't believe you. Why would I? What reason have you given me to trust you?

As messed up as you were last night, I have no reason to think you didn't take it yourself and that you don't remember doing it. Or that you're lying.

You've known these kids your entire life."

Eden shoved past him, taking the stairs towards the exit.



"That means nothing. I wouldn't take anything like that. Ever.

But that's fucking fine. Don't believe me. But don't be surprised when something really fucking bad happens and you look back on this.

Remember that you looked your fucking daughter in the eye and called her a liar."

She said the words to the walls. She didn't look back, wouldn't.

She was dumb. She was reckless and impulsive. But she would never fucking touch a drug like that. She wasn't that  stupid.

She found a seat on the concrete steps of the precinct and waited for her father. 

He was definitely wrong about one thing. She clearly had an enemy. She just had no idea who it could be.

------

"Why are you here?"

Eden groaned, straightening her shirt and turned around. It had to be the one voice in the world that annoyed her more than anything. Had to be the one that she would hoped would have given up by now.

"Really, stalker boy. You are everywhere."

The corner of Xavier's mouth lifted, but just barely. It disappeared so quickly, Eden barely caught it.

"I'm not, actually. My mom's a nurse.."

He looked her up and down, pushing his eyes to the side afterward. He looked like he wanted to say more, but instead he took the steps of the hospital down to the grass, towards whatever he had driven here.

"I'm doing community service."

Eden blurted, her cheeks slightly going red.

She watched him as he turned back to look at her, his eyes widening a little in surprise.

But only for a second. Always only for a second. 

This boy was the most collected person she had ever seen. At least it seemed.

"That sucks. I'm sorry."

Eden sighed, exasperated. 

"Right. Like you don't know why. Like you don't think I deserve it like everyone else in that fucking school."

Xavier shrugged.

"I hear rumors. Doesn't mean I believe everything I hear, Eden."


He smiled again, this time for long enough she actually knew it was a smile.

They looked at each other for a moment, and then he nodded, turning back to his car.

"Hey!"

Shut up, Eden.

"I'm actually done. Do you think you could like.."

Don't.
"Well my dad took my fucking car and.."

He raised an eyebrow.

"You want me to give you a ride? I thought I was your stalker?"

She nodded.

"You are. Which means you know where I live."

She took the steps down, stopping a few feet away. She hesitated, trying to decide why she was even doing this. Let alone why she was going to say what she said next.

"Please?"

He blinked. He looked taken aback by her nicety, the fact that she was being polite to anyone at all was probably a once in a lifetime moment. He just stared at her for a second, and then he walked around to the side of a shiny blue Porsche, opening the passenger side door for her.

Her eyes widened, taking in the car.

"Whoa."


He smiled, shutting the door after she climbed in.

"My dad's an architect. I got this when I was sixteen."

He shut the door and slid the key into the ignition, glancing over at her.

"Shows you how smart he is."

The bitterness in his voice was clear, and it made Eden wonder exactly what it was that had made him sound so hard towards his father. This kid had a perfect life. Why was he complaining?

You shouldn't be wondering anything at all about him. He shouldn't even be in your thoughts. You shouldn't be in his car. He's far too good for you.

She chanced a glimpse at his face. His eyes were the deepest blue she'd ever seen. They were.. Gorgeous. He was. For a creepy stalker boy. 

"My dad took my car."


She said it simply. Angrily. She was still bitter about the entire thing.

"I know."

She trailed her eyes out the window, smirking.

"Of course you do."

She heard his laugh, musical almost, but brief. Like every other emotion he had ever seemed to display.

"That's right. I stalk you. You didn't say it ten minutes ago or anything."

Eden felt the car come to a stop and she pushed the door open. She started to walk away, but turned back after a couple of steps. She bent her head down to the window.

"Hey. Thanks."

He looked over at her, grinning and shaking his head slightly.


"No problem. Take care of yourself, Eden."

She stepped back and he turned the car back towards the street.

And to Eden's surprise, she actually waved.

------

"No parties."

Sarah raised an eyebrow at her.

"Seriously?"

Eden flicked her cigarette off the balcony, turning to face her blonde friend.


"Seriously. I know no one believes me, but I didn't fucking drug myself and do any of that shit on purpose. I don't want to risk another party and have something actually happen. Lately all thats been going down is bad shit. My brother almost dies, and then someone drugs me. I've had enough parties for a goddamn lifetime."

Sarah crossed her arms, leaning back against the wall. Her eyes were far away.

"I get it. I guess I should tell the girls when they come by tonight that they need to watch their drinks at all times. I thought you all already knew that. Clearly not."

Eden glared at her.

"Are you fucking kidding, Sarah? I do. I always have. If my drink leaves my sight it's for a second when someone walks by. Don't you dare fucking put this on me."


She shrugged, her eyes still no where near Eden's.

"It's whatever. I just know that this has never happened before in this community. And then it happens to you  of all people."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

She snapped, clenching her hands into her fists.

"Oh come on, E. Everyone knows that they wouldn't have to drug you to sleep with you. You're the easiest one in that school."

Her tone was joking, but it was enough.

"Okay, Sarah. You can go."

Sarah looked startled.

"Eden, I was jo-"



"I really don't care. I've had enough of your shit for one night. Just fucking go home and keep pretending to be perfect. Pretend you're not the one sleeping with three of your teachers."

Sarah opened her mouth, but Eden grabbed her by the arm, pushing her towards the doors to her house.

"I don't want to fucking hear it. Go."



Sarah yanked her arm away, narrowing her eyes.

"Whatever. Good luck with everything Eden."

She shoved the door open, the air conditioning from inside seeping out into the night.

She turned around, jumping a little when she saw Atticus and Evein staring at her with wide eyes.

In the midst of that fight, she had almost forgotten they were out there too.


"I hope you know I believe you, E."

Atticus said, walking up to her. He put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed her lightly. He disconnected in a second, knowing Eden wasnt one for hugs.

"I do too."

Evein said, smiling brightly.

Eden sighed, finding the edge of the balcony and leaning against it.

The two of them came up to her, standing on either side.

"I guess I asked for this. I haven't given myself the best reputation."

Atticus shook his head, throwing a stray rock over the side and into their pool. Apparently he had killer aim.

"No one deserves those kinds of rumors; and dad should believe you. No matter who you've slept with. It's bullshit."

Eden rolled her eyes.

"I bet he'd believe it if it was anyone else. I just happen to be the bad kid."


She really hoped nothing did happen to any of the other girls. Kiara was going to this party tonight. Albeit, Atticus was going with her... But still. It was a scary idea. To think one among them wasn't who they should be.

"Goddammit."

Kiara's voice echoed out of Eden's bedroom through the cracked open window.

"That bitch told me I can't come tonight."

She tried the window, throwing an annoyed glance in Eden's direction.

"It's fucking stuck.

But anyway, Eden. What did you do? She said I was 'disinvited' because you're being a bitch."


She said the word 'disinvited' in a high nasally tone, mimicking Sarah's voice.

She shoved the window up, trying to unstick it, and the glass shattered, covering the balcony in tiny shards of sparkles.

Eden felt her heart race, her vision bouncing. She cringed back from the pieces of broken window.

"What did you just say?"

She whispered, her skin going slightly clammy, dropping down and backing up against the side of the house. She was trying to put as much distance between herself and the accident as possible, but it felt as if the walls were closing in on her.

"I said what did you do to her?"

That was the last thing she heard before her vision went black.

------

"Just leave me alone Cassius!"

Eden screamed, covering her ears with her hands.

"It's stupid and I don't want to play with you and Kyle anyway!"

Cassius shoved her backwards, hard. She fell on her butt, her cheeks burning crimson.

"Why are you always so mean to me? You're such a jerk."

She got to her feet, brushing dirt off of her jeans.


One day, I'll stand up to him. One day no one will mess with me because I'll be so mean no one can stand me. That's what I want. Everyone to just leave me alone. 



She heard her younger brother and his friend laughing outside when she got to her bedroom. Their voices carrying through the open glass of the window above her bed.

"Are you okay, Eden?"

Atticus asked, sticking his head in her doorway.

"I'm fine."

She said, even though she didn't really mean it. She always said it anyway.


He tilted his head, disbelieving, but nodded and went back to his room.

"Just do it. She won't tell on you anyway, and it will scare the crap out of her.

Come on, Cassius. Don't be a coward. Do it."

Kyle nodded at the window above Eden's bed.

"Just slam it. It will be funny and you know it."


Cassius' expression stretched into a smirk and he turned, facing it.

He grabbed the ledge and pulled as hard as he could, the pane coming down easier than his eight year old self anticipated. The moment the top connected with sill, the glass in the pane shattered. It rained down over him, but it also cascaded into Eden's window.


And something was very, very wrong. She was screaming louder than he had ever heard her.

The boys rushed inside, straight into Eden's room.

There was blood and glass all over the bed. Eden was clutching her face, moaning in pain.

"Eden! I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

Cassius' voice was panicked and for the first time in a long time, he genuinely sounded concerned. He approached his sister, but Atticus grabbed the front of his shirt, shoving him back.

"What did you do to her, Cassius?!"

He pushed him again, finally turning back to Eden.



"Come on, let's go get dad. That doesn't look good."

He grabbed her by the hand and led her down the hallway to the kitchen.

Carter's eyes widened when he saw Eden's presence. She was covered in blood and there were still pieces of glass in her hair.

"What happened, baby?"


He pulled her hand away, a gash covering three to four inches of the side of her face.

"That's going to need stitches. Who did this, what happened?"

Carter repeated, looking back and forth at the two boys.


"Cassius did."

Eden cried, covering her face again as the cut started bleeding again.

Carter looked up at him, narrowing his eyes.

"Dad, I'm so sorry, it was an acci-"

"No it fucking wasn't!"


Everyone in the room turned to stare at Eden. She had never said a word like that in her life. She was barely ten.

"Don't lie to him! You torture me all the time, Cassius. But you know what?


I'm fucking done with you. I want nothing to do with you. I hate you."

Carter put an arm around Eden's shoulders, grabbing his car keys.

"You and I will talk when I get home."

He said to Cassius, his voice full of anger.


As Eden was walking out of the door, she looked back at Cassius, her eyes full of ice.

"I mean it. Done."

----

"Whoa. Eden, you okay? You're crying."

Eden reached up, feeling the wetness on her cheek with her fingertips. She brushed both sides of her face with the back of her hand, the scar residing there burning slightly. Not from actual pain, just from memory.





"I'm fine. I just."

She got to her feet, denying Kiara's offered hand.


"I'm fine."

She glanced over to the window, noticing all the glass was gone.


"I cleaned it up. I'm sorry. Don't worry, I'll pay for it.. Your parents will never even know."

She nodded at Kiara, walking to the doors to the second level.


"It's fine. I need to.. Sleep. I'll call you guys later."

She slipped into her bedroom, pulling out her phone as soon as her back hit the sheets.

Hey Nico, it's Eden. You should come over.